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Church Bulletin Bloopers:


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Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually

appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary

Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.


The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.


The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."

The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."


Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 p.m. in the

recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.


Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those

things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.


The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a



Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone

who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.


Don't let worry kill you off -- let the Church help.


Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious

pleasure to the congregation.


For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery



Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help

they can get.


Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more

transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of

Pastor Jack's sermons.


The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will

sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."


Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church. So

ends a friendship that began in their school days.


A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music

will follow.


At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"

Come early and listen to our choir practice.


Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several

new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.


Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.

Proceeds will be used to cripple children.


Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person

you want remembered.


The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and

gracious hostility.


Potluck supper Sunday at 5 p.m. -- prayer and medication to follow.


The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be

seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.


This evening at 7 p.m. there will be a hymn singing in the park across from

the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.


Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 a.m. All ladies are

invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.


The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend

him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.


Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the

back door.


The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church

basement Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this



Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church.

Please use large double door at the side entrance.


The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan

last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge -- Up Yours."

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