midge Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 I feel wonderful after the doc tells me I don't have to come back for three months..then about a month later I start thinking about "what if this crap is growing somewhere"..I almost (and I say almost very lightly) feel more secure when I am getting chemo..does anyone else feel this way? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flacrakr Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 I just went throught the quarterly exam. And what happens to me is the week or 10 days before my appt, I get down; expecting to hear the worst. I go to my appt, my onc. says all is stable, and I leave on cloud nine. My next appt is January. Yipppeeeeee!!!!!! Stable is good, Midge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midge Posted September 24, 2005 Author Share Posted September 24, 2005 Stable is excellent and I always try real hard to remember that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaffie Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 Pretty much everyone gets nervous around scan time, I have to take anti anxiety meds or I'd go nuts. I just had a clear reading so I'm OK for a few months but you can bet I'll be pacing the floor before too long. Don't have any advice on how to control it, I guess we have to learn to live with it as our new "normal" life. Stable is good, happy for you Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jorja Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 Even though I am not the one with the cancer (my dad has cancer) I get pretty scared too! When you get the news that everything "looks good" it is the best news ever....until the cycle starts all over again jorja Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j ross Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Know exactly what you mean. The anxiety between scans is I suppose the new normal. I try to think of is as a chronic illness so whatever comes up we will deal with it. But is it always on my mind. Jennie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 Midge, I'm between scans and results right now. I always get anxious, but also repeat to myself that it is what it is and I can't change it. Whatever the scans show, I/we will deal with. I'm getting a bit better on the thoughts that I'm not doing anything right now and one of those little suckers could just spring up and set up shop anytime....I made the two year mark in February. I don't know what the results will be tomorrow, but I will deal with it all then. I don't have my head buried in the sand, knowing full well that when I was diagnosed, I wasn't even feeling sick, but I don't want to stress about it, either. I'm keeping busy and am more concerned with the here and now - lots going on in the "family" right now that takes my focus from what is going on with me. Sounds good, but I also have the Xanax in my medicine cabinet in case the darn monsters pop out of their cages in my brain. Sedating still works on the little suckers... Take care, and welcome to the board. Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 I guess I don't get scared at all, but I have a few tense minutes just before I go in to see the oncologist and view the radiologist report. I sit in the waiting room practicing deep (one lunged) breathing. Both of my cancers were early stage. I considered my self cured after the first cancer, and still consider myself cured after the second cancer. I think that due to my stubborn belief in a cure, and it is easy to believe because of early stage, I don't worry about it much. Also, having chemo after my second cancer, makes it easier not to worry about getting cancer again. Still, I am told I am at a high risk for cancer because I have had it twice blah blah blah.. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike K Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 I can relate. I'm going for a scan in about 2 hours. Unfortunately, because of the way I've been feeling the last couple of weeks I'm not expecting anything positive when we get the results, stable would be great. I just wish they would give you the results right then instead of waiting for the call from the Doc. My attitude has always been expect the worst and hope for the best. Mike K. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 It took me about 6 years to get over the CT scan waiting gitters. I go tomorrow for my CT scan because we are watching and waiting to see what this nodule will or will not do. We've been watching it for over 3 years. Am I worried? Not right now I'm not! I'm to the point of, it will be what it will be and I can't do a THING about it until I know what it is! But, I USE to have knots in my tummy everytime I'd do my CT scans. Those days are gone!! YIPPIE!!! Sure am glad there is a point where we don't panic over scans. Hang in there, you'll make it to this point some day too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 It has taken Lucie almost three years to get over the periods in between treatments and the test times. She is still anxious but not near what she was earlier. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrewsmom Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 I've found that it gets easier as more time goes by but I doubt it ever goes away completely. I am nearly four years out and I only start to think about the possibility that the cancer may have in the 3 days between my x-ray and when I get the results. Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wfshaw Posted September 28, 2005 Share Posted September 28, 2005 I try not to think about it in between testing. I tend to keep myself busy but when it gets close to test time, about a week before, then all the scary thoughts go thru my head until I find out the results. I am sure we all go through this in different ways but keeping active and busy helps me keep it out of my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bets1 Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 Hi Midge...it's Betty. It's funny, I just posted about my upcoming scan next week. No matter how busy I keep myself, I'm still scared! My husband can't seem to understand this as it's been a year. (duh) Glad to see you and hope all is well. Betty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 I will have my first scan since my surgery next week. I told myself that if my surgery was successful (and it seems that it was) that I would not stress out over scans, but just be positive. Well easier said than done. I am so scared. I try to keep busy. I am expecting good results. After reading so many other posts it makes me wonder if it is a matter of time before you go from good scans to bad. Is that why I am so afraid, wondering. Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDianneB Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 Oh, of course not. You mean you are fearful in between scans? HA!!! Of course, the real answer is that we ALL do -- even the angels who call themselves our "caregivers." We all feel that, I think, and we just express it in different ways. I have had a LOT of scans over the past 16 months, and as my Pulmonologist says, "your future will include a lot of scans!" I got it. I'll do it. But I don't know if or when that edge feeling ever goes away. I will say this -- I had a CT this morning, the one they do after every 2 cycles of the Topo I'm taking. I didn't dread the scan so much this time as I did drinking that icky barium stuff! Maybe it is getting better -- the fear, that is. As long as I feel the fear though, I know that my goal to maximize my survival is still going strong. Take care. Di Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchi Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 Although I am not the patient, my husband was DX with small cell limited stage, I am very axious just before his scans and right before the appointment to get the results. Then when the Dr. says ok next scan in 6 weeks we are both happy and scared. soooo much can happen in 6 weeks, but then we relax get back into our routine, then the cycle happens again. Debbie Husband Alan DX with LSCLC Jan 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leslie221 Posted October 1, 2005 Share Posted October 1, 2005 I usually don't feel much fear about the cancer, because I'm pretty much asymptomatic and my treatment is a pill every day! Very lucky!!! But I have an xray or CT scan every month and a couple of days before I go to the doctor I realise I have a lot of nervous energy I'm trying to supress. The "what if's" start popping up in my mind when I need to fall asleep. I rely on this strategy to get me through the nerves and keep them from growing bigger. I remind myself that whatever happens tomorrow - bad scan news, get hit by a falling airplane engine, choke on a noodle, or win the lottery - I feel good TODAY, I am OK TODAY! And that's all that matters to me TODAY! Keeps the jitters supressed for the most part. Also helps to write a post and get reassurance and support from everyone here! Leslie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adee Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 I realize that this is an old, old subject, but it caught my eye. My onc has told me that I have no evidence of active cancer and doesn't need to see me until sometime next year. I know I should be ecstatic, but frankly I'm scared. I may not have cancer now, but what about tomorrow and the next day. I still don't feel like I can make any long term plans - even a few weeks from now. I almost feel abandoned by my doctor. While undergoing treatment, I truly felt safe and cared for - now I'm on my own and scared to death. After reading the posts on this subject, I realize I'm not alone with this feeling - but, gosh, it really astonishes me that I feel this way when I should be grateful and thankful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted November 27, 2005 Share Posted November 27, 2005 You are so right Adee. I feel scared too. I had my first scan in October. Just a couple of days later I started to worry again. I think that after treatment treatment or counseling or something is needed for us. I thank God for this website. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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