Jump to content

Colonoscopy comments...


Recommended Posts

these are so cheesy, but funny...got them by email today:

"Comments by patients during Colonoscopies

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?""


Link to comment
Share on other sites


I know this is going to sound odd, but patients are not awake when a colonoscopy is performed. Prior to the procedure, a nice nurse puts a catheter in your arm and then the nap juice starts to flow...when you awake, the pictures have been taken and you are blissfully unaware of how many people got a good view of your better side...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was awake when I had a colonoscopy, but had an epidural, so had NO idea what was going on down there! Actually, they tell me that we all exchanged dirty jokes the entire time, so at least it was entertaining!

Those are funny. I thought colonoscopy would go better with "no comment," but those are really funny!


Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a trach and a colonoscopy on the same day... went down here and up there and shook hands right in the middle. I was awake for the whole thing.. Not a pleasant day, especially considering I have a "tortuous colon".

Had two other colonoscopies and not out either. Dangit. They hurt, and I am not kidding.

However, even so. The worse part is the prep... can you say projectile vomit? They have you drink a gallon yes! at least a gallon of ....what's the name of that stuff?? on the tip of my tongue. well anyway.

Cabbage stinks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I didn't have to drink the "go lightly". I had to take 28 Visicol tablets within about a four hour period. My sister told me to take a tape recorder with me to have for after the surgery. She said I would never believe the amount of gas a perosn has after one of those procedures. TOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

They usually give you what is called conscious sedation. You are in a twilight sleep but you can still talk. And talk we do. They also give you a drug called versed. It makes you forget all the nasty things you said to the doc and the nurses. I used to sell the scopes they use for these procedures so I was present for many of them. I have also had several on myself. I didn't remember but the nurses said I was a riot.


PS ..one of the patients (a large man) actually came up off the table and threatened the doc...tried to pull the scope out. They gave him more demerol.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Sounds like I'm in for some major fun.

I guess I'd better offer the scoper a butt-lite after all..LOL

I do know that I say weird things while under the influence of that drug that keeps you awake.

When my 3rd son was born by C-section I had convinced myself I was going to finally get my much wanted daughter.

According to the staff when the doctor told me I had a boy I didn't believe him, even made him double check. Hope I don't ask for THAT particular favor :shock:

Guess I was pretty mad at the doctor, not to nice to him while he sewed me up.

I would like to add that the alleged girl is now a 20 year old handsome young man whom I love dearly and I'm very proud of.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

LOL, Fay! The last time I had an ERCP procedure (to put in the permanent stent in my bile duct) there was a room full of extraneous people! The hospital had just bought a new x-ray unit (fluoroscopy) and a team of people from the manufacturer stay with it for a while to help get the room set up and the machine calibrated correctly.

I worked in a Radiology department many years ago, and this was the case then. It's probably more common than you'd think.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.