Another grateful new member--stage IIIb

[BarbaraL]

Greetings to all the survivors and caregivers here! I just joined yesterday and posted to a specific inquiry I found, but thought I should make a proper introduction.

I've provided most important medical details in my signature below, so I'll get a little more personal in this message.

I'm a 45-year-young self-employed graphic artist. For the first six weeks or so after my DX, with the round robins of tests, doctors, surgeries, tears and phone calls, I was totally drained. Then, my focus was on starting chemo treatment, since I'm considered inoperable. At this point I've had one full (3 treatment) cycle of Taxol/Carboplatin. Aside from days 1-4 of chemo, when I'm spaced out, drained and achy, I'm feeling remarkably well.

My CT scan next week will show the results of all this thus far and, while I remain hopeful, I am also trying to be practical. My husband (of one month--a story for another time) and my close friends know the statistical prognosis (lousy), but my 71-year-old mother and 76-year-old father do not. The prospect of my dying before them (and leaving my husband alone) actually scares me more than anything else. My parents lost my brother many years ago, when he was 18 and I was 23, and having them lose another child brings me to tears.

Hubby and I got married by the mayor last month, and we're having a 100-guest barbecue next weekend to celebrate our marriage. I've been planning and looking forward to this big event for the last six weeks, knowing that all the fun could be bittersweet. There will be some relatives and others attending I fear I may never see again.

I guess the test next week is weighing heavily on me, even though I thought I had developed a "whatever it is, it is" attitude until about a week ago. I saw my onc earlier today, and he's very pleased by my lack of symptoms and tolerance of the chemo.

Any words of wisdom and/or encouragement out there?

Thanks in advance,

Barb

[Don Wood]

Hi, Barbara! Much info and support on this message board to be had. Welcome. I am happy to meet you and to hear things are going as expected so far. Keep in touch with your journey and questions. Don

[bobmc]

Hello Barbara, Welcome and my very best to you,

I see were somewhat neighbors as I live in northern NJ. I had a pneumonectomy ( left lung removed ) at Morristown Memorial on 5/2/01.

Your right about the upcoming tests, know matter what, they still weigh heavy on us. It does get easier with time but its still always tense. Like you, I went through the stage of anaylizing the odds, doing the what if 's in my head, shedding the tears and trying to hold it all together. I guess it just goes with the dx. of cancer. My advice is screw the odds, forget about the dying and focus on living each day as it comes. I know easier said than done. I try to do my best to find something each and every day to be grateful for. For me it helps as well as being here on the boards. I also pray much more these days.

I'm also a firm believer in getting second opinions. Don't be afraid to get one, it's comforting if nothing else.

Again welcome, glad your here, you will find support, good info. and most important of all SURVIVORS.

God bless and be well

Bobmc - NSCLC- stageIIB- left pneumonectomy- 5/2/01

" absolutely insist on enjoying lifetoday!"

[kimblanchard]

Hi Barbara,

Congratulations on your very recent wedding. There are many wonderful and loving, supportive people on this board. Keep us posted on your progress so that we may support you too!

Blessings to you,

Peg

[Donna G]

Welcome Barbara I see you're CT scan is coming up soon, I pray that you will be posting in the GOOD NEWS ribbon Did that surgery take care of the pleural effusion problem? How did you do with the chemo? I hope that you find good info and support here. Now that we have met you , please let us know how the CT came out. Donna

[JudyB]

Hi, Barb,

We have another thing in common, besides LC. I am also a self-employed graphic designer from (sort of) your neck of the woods, Philadelphia.

Here's the one thing to remember: there is NO lung cancer that someone hasn't survived. Forget the numbers. Believe you will be a survivor! Visualize the cancer going away (whatever your particular visualization might be. I visualized that every time I blew my nose pieces of that cancer came out. I know. Disgusting. And I always blow my nose alot!)

Don't listen to negative thoughts or negative people. Best thing you can do is make LOTS of plans for the future. Celebrate and have a good time (there's that song again!) Plan on seeing those distant relatives many more times.

Get Bernie Segal tapes. Stay positive!!! JudyB

[norme]

Welcome Barb,

WEll, two ladies with the same profession on this board, that is great!

Sorry to hear of your news but you sure found the right place for knowledge. I have never seen a question not answered. Sometimes just reading the posts gives one a lot of knowledge...and knowledge is power. Power to make decisions correctly. Power to stay on top of your disease because at all times you must know what is happening and what may be best for YOU.

Should your husband of one month need some care, have him come aboard. It really does help all to be on here...

Again, welcome.

[BarbaraL]

Thanks to everyone who welcomed me. When I found and started browsing through the board a few days ago, I was struck by the lovely tone, sense of camaraderie and great information!

I promise I'll let you know the results of my CT scan, and I won't be shy about asking questions, either.

I think I properly uploaded a photo of George and I from our wedding day, so you can have a face to put to my name.

The photo was taken June 25, and my hair was starting to thin, but what you see here was all mine. In the next few days it all fell out, and I left mounds of it in hotel trash cans up and down the Eastern seaboard. I was completely prepared for this to happen (brought a wig and hats with me), but I still laugh when I wonder what the maids must have thought.

Barbara