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Having a Tough Time


hollyanne

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How do all of you stay so strong?? I have some very good days, and then absolute breakdowns....and being almost 8 months pregnant and hormonal doesn't help. :)

I feel like my Mom and family just can't get a break. this disease has spread through her bones so quickly, yet the lung has remained fairly quiet.

We got the results of another bone scan last week which showed progression in the ribs, hips, femurs. She has little to no mobility at all, and that is the most difficult part...... My baby is due in December and the oncologist told me that there is a chance she will not see December. Yet, I have to think that means there is a chance too -- right?

If she could just get some mobility back, it would be a different story from a quality of life perspective. Have any of you or your loved ones lost significant mobility and then gotten it back after radiation, etc. We did a mega radiation blast yesterday and also started Zometa.

I want to thank all of you for your support, and please know that I keep you and your families in my prayers every night. Love to all, Holly

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Holly...I am so sorry that your mom is having such a tough time. I don't have any advice for you..I honestly don't know how I would deal with my mom being sick.

I just wanted to send you some support and encouragement...you can get through a lot more than you think you can...you are strong!

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I know how hard it is when you don't see any progress. Our daughter just had a baby and I know she was worried her dad wouldn't be there, but he was. Hopefully, your mom will be here too when your baby comes and that baby will bring so much joy into all your lifes at such a difficult time.

Karen H

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Gosh, I too am so incredibially sorry your mom and you and your family are going through this.

My mom only had brain radiation and was on steroids the whole time so when they took her off of them is when she began the extreme fatigue. My mom unfortunately did not recover.

There are people here who have been to the brink of cross over and have rallied though. Never ever give up on hope, but at 8 months pregnant you also have to reduce your anxiety and stress level.

I would have sold my sould to the devil if I could have done someting to help save my mom but in the end I wanted her suffering to be over. I was being selfish for wanting the doctors to give her more and more chemo/radiation but she was tired of being sick and would rather have gone ahead where she could watch over me from above.

All my prayers are with you and your mom and family. There is no hell like this hell.

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Hi, Holly. First off, my wife, Lucie, is Stage IV NSCLC and had multiple bone mets at diagnosis. She has had periodic recurrences in her bones every since, with lungs clear. She has been able to, with chemo and radiation, have three years of a good life so far. She takes an IV of Zometa every month to help strengthen bones and help keep mets from attaching to the bones. You might inquire of your mom's onc about Zometa. It seems to help Lucie. My best wishes to you and your mom. Don

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Holly,

Dad's bone mets were kept at bay for three years with the help of Zometa, so I think your Mom is on the right road. You have so much going on in your life right now with a new little one on the way. I know how stressful all this can be and I am sorry you are going through this. I will keep you in my prayers. Love, Sharon

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My heart goes out to you in this horrible and unfair situation. I pray that your mom will strengthen and be there for you and your new baby. I hate what cancer does!! Just hate it!

I do want to share with you that my mother passed away while I was pregnant with my first child... It was horrible and the saddest thing in my life. But... my daughter will turn 19 in December (same month for you it sounds) and she is the image, the everything of my mother. I know that sounds crazy, and while I believe that my mom is watching over us I also know that I was given a wonderful gift as she said goodbye. My mother had a very dark complexion with dark brown eyes. She was this tiny little spitfire of strong willed energy. I am fair, with green eyes, my husband (first, now ex) is also fair with blue eyes. My daughter was born with a dark complexion and huge brown eyes. She has long very dark hair and she is the spitting image of my mother. Not just by her looks but also her mannerisms... the way she hold her head, the way she walks. She is a 5'0", 96lb, strong willed little engine that could!! The two are so alike it is scary especially when they never met. Right down to liking the same colors and similar foods. Even though it is so painful, even now and I miss her more than anything, I see her everyday in my daughter.

As I said I pray that your mom will grow stronger and welcome with you your new baby. Hopefully the Zometa will work and the two of you will have many more days to enjoy together.

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All -

Thank you so much. I was having a tough time yesterday and your words of encoragement and prayers mean the world to me. I just hope that I am able to support each of you in the same compassionate manner you have supported me.

Lovet to all,

Holly

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Hi Holly,

I am so sorry Holly for all you are going through. This is such an incredibly hard time in your life. When you should be celebrating the anticipating birth of your baby.

Just keep praying and keep the faith that you mom will be here for the birth of your child.

There are many people here who did not think their spouce would make it to their childrens weddings. And truthfully, the condition they were in it was hard to believe they would. But by some miracle they were able to make it.

Keep the faith alive that it is possible. Faith can move mountains and has many times.

If she does not, know that she will be there in spirit and will be smiling down upon you with the birth of her beautiful grandchild. She will be so proud of you and this miracle life that will light your life when she is gone.

Sending prayers to your mom.

Maryanne

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Dear Holly,

I hope you can take some comfort in the encouragement that others have offered -- you never can tell what will happen with this dreadful but still sometimes unpredictable disease. Sick as she is, I'm sure your mother is thinking as much of you and the baby as she is of herself-- and that's a good thing. Let her be as much a part of this wonderful upcoming event as she can be, and be as much with her as you can be -- you won't regret it. Let's hope the zometa works as well for her as it did for so many others.

I'll be thinking of you and of her and of the little one coming in December....

Ellen

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Hollyanne, I just wanted to tell you that I really identify with that "can't catch a break" feeling. the truth is, our moms are in different situations. my mom is on the road to recovery. but I too struggled with the "unfairness" of all of it - her parents died, her sisters died, she had thyroid cancer, lung cancer in 2000, it came back and then she was hit with every awful post op complication possible. I was PI&*ED, let me tell you.

I can't say I had some great epiphany, either. I just slowly came to accept that whatever happens, she is well cared for by us (her kids) her friends and god. I personally don't believe god makes bad things happen. I believe god is there for us to turn to no matter what.

as for staying strong, it's a minute by minute thing. and, for me anyway, being "strong" didn't mean not being upset when terrible things were happening, it meant not running down Broadway screaming when I felt like I couldn't handle it anymore. sad, scared, a little mad, confused - but showing up for my mom as best I could anyway. that was "strong" for me.

anyway, you're a wonderful daughter. I am so sorry things are so hard right now. do lean on us if you can.

xoxo

bunny

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Holly,

I was a maniac when I was 8 months pregnant, and I wasn't even dealing with all of this. Please give yourself a break. You are dealing with an awful lot right now.

Also, remember that we post the parts of ourselves we want people to see. You don't always see us at our worst (tho sometimes I post that too--and appreciate seeing others post so honestly). What gives me strength is falling back on all of you when I have to, and knowing that I can maybe help someone else along the way.

God bless you, your mom, and that beautiful baby-to-be!

:) Kelly

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How do you stay strong?

To me there is no alternative. Kick *ss. My dad is strong until he says he is not strong. Then we do option "B" which is to be comfortable and have digntiy.

This challenge is why we live. To love and to help other heal.

cancer is bad but love brings us together and is the reason we fight.

Healing to all those in need and love every moment like it will lat forever.

Eppie

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