Jana_W Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Hi all I haven't posted in a while, but I have been reading how every one is going at least once a week or so. Not sure if people will remember, but I was 34 weeks pregnant when Mum died on August 4th this year. My beautiful baby girl, Veronika May, was born on the 27th September and she is such a joy. I have been missing my own Mum so much at the moment and can't seem to stop thinking about it and crying about it (obviously not ALL the time, but I do have a good sob at least twice a day). I thought, and hoped, that with the birth of Veronika perhaps the highs and lows would balance each other out a bit more. This hasn't happened. I just seem to fluctuate between the two extreme emotions, and the emotional rollercoaster that we've all been on since Mum was diagnosed two years ago, continues. I have also been feeling terrible at being less support to my Dad. Before Veronika was born, I was able to see Dad about five times a week but this has been reduced to a couple of times a week as I adjust to being a new Mum and having new commitments, and I am also going to be without transport when my husband goes back to work. I am finding the whole idea of never seeing Mum again very overwhelming. I can only go so far as to accept that I won't be seeing her for a few months, and I can deal with that. But as soon as I try to comprehend that I am 34 years old and for the entire rest of my life I won't have her in it, and she will never meet my daughter, I just end up all confused and unable to really understand it. Does anyone know what I mean????? It all just seems so unfair. And I miss her so much. Jana xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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