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I think I need some prayers


lilyjohn

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I hate to ask with so many people here who have problems greater than mine but I really think I need some prayers comming my way. I am really feeling disillusioned right now. I need prayers for strength to get me through.

I think everything had finally caught up with me. On top of that I am beginning to think that for some reason I am just not meant to get even much less ahead. It is starting to take a toll on my health.

I had a job this last week as you know from my other posts. I had to leave a day early because I caught a bad cold. The money I was earning was supposed to make up for what I had to spend on my car. I really thought that things were going to start going better for me but now I just don't know any more.

I have been under a lot of strain lately. My job in itself is very stressful. I go days that I have no one to talk to other than those I care for with dimentia.I know that I am very good with them but that comes from caring. Sometimes maybe too much. I worry about all of my clients. This last job was very stressfull. I really had no down time at all for 6 straight days. Even at night I was up several times and during the day I never got more than 2 or 3 minutes break at a time. Adding that to everthing else I can see why I got sick.

Today I was to go back to work. I had yesterday off because I wasn't supposed to finish that other job until yesterday. I had to call in sick. I feel bad enough but the main reason is that I just can't take a chance on making any of the people I care for sick. The problem is I have no sick leave where I work. I will be losing a whole weeks pay. The job I did to get ahead will only pay enough to cover what I lose this week and the other work I had to give up to take it. I gave up my nights and my weekend and now I am sick and right back where I was financially.

I'm not asking for your prayers for my finances only for my will to keep trying. I can't give up. That is just not an option. I would have no way to live.

I have worked such long hours and everything else just seems to have piled up on me. My best friend has been in and out of the hospital a dozen times sense May. Her family has been told more than once that she has cancer only to have them change the diagnosis again. We still don't know what her problem really is. The huricanes and the worry about my family kept me on edge for over a month. Then my car caused me all of that worry and money. I keep thinking maybe I'm doing something wrong but I can't for the life of me figure out what it is.

So I ask you to please if you will say a little prayer that I will not lose my faith and my will to keep trying. Maybe that is what is missing. Maybe I need someone else to speak to God with me.

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Prayers for you! I don't think you are doing anything wrong but living life. Life is so full of curve balls and steps backward that it just seems as if it is something we are doing. You are changing peoples lives just by the love and care you provide for them, that you are doing RIGHT! Best wishes to you.

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Prayers for you Lillian. Sometimes caring people care more about others than themselves and it sounds to me like you need a break and some friends to cheer you up and let you vent a little. God is always with you, this may be a test of you're faith and I KNOW you will pass it!

God Bless you,

Jane

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