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all the firsts


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I have not been on the message boards much lately at all, but you've all been on my mind, in my heart and in my prayers, as always.

Karen wrote about the anniversary of their "Gotcha Day" for Faith and how hard it was not to have David there. It breaks my heart that he wasn't.

David's birthday in August was harder than I could have imagined for the whole family. And Faith's 4th birthday party was my first visit since he passed away; it was so hard not to see him there enjoying Faith's special day in their beautiful new house.

The day after David's funeral was my dad's first Father's Day without David. And today is my dad's birthday - his first without David. I saw my parents last weekend for a short visit, and now they're at my sister's house. Tomorrow they'll go to visit Faith and Karen.

I don't have a point really... just that all the "firsts" are so much harder than I even expected them to be. We all miss David so much. I'd give anything to know he was sitting in his living room with Karen and Faith right now, finding something to laugh about.


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Yes, yes, yes, Becky. The firsts are so hard, and soon there will be a first Thanksgiving and a first Christmas. I know we can get through these firsts, but I also believe we can get through them with smiles if we try real hard. I'm about to post a little written exercise that I did today - maybe some of the things in there will help.

We all miss David. He was such a fun and positive person and a great friend to all of us.

I wish you peace, Becky, you and your entire family.



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All those firsts are hard and in knowing

that we are not alone feeling them and living

them may help some, but even the second time

around is still hard.

David will always have a place in the family

reunions and be sure he will be there.



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Oh Becky,

Your in the very early stages of your greif, and I'm here to tell you the FIRSTS of EVERYTHING after we lose someone we love so much really really really HURTS! :( No words can make it better for you my dear. (((((((BECKY))))))))

The first year of our grief we kind of muddle around in shock and disbelief over the loss of our loved ones.

Sadly enough, the SECOND year is much better in my opinion. Then your pretty much out of the shock mode, and reality sets in and WOW, that hurts too! :cry:

It all takes time. And some support doesn't hurt either. ((((((((BECKY)))))))))) :wink:

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We are also going through the "firsts" of everything, with Mum having died on August 4th 2005. It sucks, doesn't it? I know that on the actual day of Mum's birthday (October 15th) I didn't feel much sadder during the day than I had done on every other day, until I went to bed. Then I realised that her birthday had come and gone, and she hadn't been here for any of it. That gutted me. I don't know how the "seconds" will be any easier, but I guess at least we will have been through it once before.

I am thinking of you and just wanted you to know that I think I know how you feel.




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Becky, it is so good to hear from you. I miss hearing from you so very much. It still seems unbeliveable that Dave isn't here on the board. I know how hard all of these "firsts" are. I can't believe that it has been almost three years since I lost Dennis and all the important dates still break my heart in two. Just hang in there and know that Dave is with you every step of the way!

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Dear Becky,

I will echo the others in saying it is wonderful to hear from you. Like you I lost my Brother too as you know and it still hurts. His birthday which he so badly wanted to make was only 8 days away when he passed away. It broke my heart. My birthday was 2 days from his and we always celebrated together and there was no celebration that year and it was my 50th birthday. The only thing that made me feel better on my birthday as a gift to Alan and to myself was to sponser LCSC. That is what I did and it made me feel good.

I will always miss Alan but I have learned to live with the reality of it after going through a long major depression.

I know how you feel and I just want to hug you.

David will always be that Angel on you're shoulder as Alan will be mine.

God Bless you Becky,


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