Joelswife Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 The good news is we found a cancer support group nearby that meets once a month. Frankly, I feel like we could use once a week right now but I'm thrilled to have this one. Joel seemed happier, more animated and smiled more than I've seen him in weeks. On the way home, he said this was the best thing ever for him. He's always been pretty social and was inspired by some of the other people. I am better on a web site support group because of time constraints. We have decided to fire our oncologist. Another good thing about support groups is that they are a wealth of local information and were able to refer us to a different one. We've been unhappy with our oncologist and feel she has made some mistakes, definitely has a God complex and is far from warm and fuzzy. Wish us luck on the new one. Joel has a procedure at the hospital tomorrow where they are shooting phenobarbitol into the nerves near his surgery incision to combat his great pain. He will be happy if it takes away half of his pain. Wish us luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leslie221 Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 So glad to know you found a support group nearby and that Joel feel better when he goes! It's so comforting and reassuring to know other people are in the same boat and you don't have to go through this alone! When you first get dx'd, you feel like you have been sucked out of the real world into some little Twilight Zone where you are suddenly so "different" from everyone else. Support groups (on computer or in person) remind you that you're still YOU, still part of the real world, and you're still someone who other people can laugh with and relate to. Congrats on getting rid of an oncologist who didn't help you feel confident and well-cared for. You deserve only the best! Hope these treatments help Joel feel better physically. Will keep my fingers crossed they'll do the trick! Hang in there, Joel!! Leslie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 Miracles happen all the time. You never know where this cancer journey will take you. Best of luck with the new onc. and the pain relief! cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 Hope this new procedure works its magic and gets rid of the pain. If you have doubts about the care you are recieving from your oncologist, firing her is the exact thing to do. Glad you made this choice. You know, warm fuzzies and personality go a long way in making a doctor successful. Dennis' oncologist was a wonderful doctor plus a really warm and fuzzy man. Everyone at MD Anderson referred to him as "the big teddy bear." His approach made us feel as if he was a friend who really cared about Dennis as a person and not just another case or statistic. I'm also glad to hear about the support group! I think this is great! I'll be saying prayers that the phenobarbital works wonders! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 Hoping Joel's new onc and the treatments are a big sucess.Glad there is a support group handy and he is happy with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 I am SO glad that you found some local support. I'm also glad that you are finding a doctor that you'll be more comfortable with. Praying that this procedure will do wonders for the pain! Val Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollyanne Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 I am so glad you are finding a new oncologist - we did the same thing early on, and I am so happy we did. Now we have a caring, yet candid doctor who spends as much time as necessary with us (including coming to the house to discuss test results!) The one thing I have really learned is that every patient and every family has different ways of dealing and respond differently to approaches (althoug it sounds like the issues with your first oncologist were greater than that.) I will keep you and your husband in my prayers...I hope that the pain lessens, as I know that will change both of your lives. Thinking of you, Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 Best of luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 Good support and good medical professionals are a must in this battle. Wishing you the best. Know that we are here for you. Love, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 Mrs. Joel, Good luck with the new doctor. I found my surgeon to be rather cold, BUT, I only saw him the day of my surgery and on his rounds while I was in the hospital and I didn't need warm/fuzzy, I needed damn good. Now, I follow with my oncologist. He talks to me, asks me questions, asks if I have questions, looks me right in the eye when he talks to me, and touches me. No, not inappropriately, but he TOUCHES me, he doesn't act as if cancer is contagious and shy away from contact. I think that is part of the reason I am comfortable with him and confident that he is looking out for my best interest, he sees value in me as a human being. Not all my doctors have needed good bedside manner, just the ones I follow with. I'm willing to pay for skill and deal with a cold fish if I don't have to do it often, otherwise, I want someone who knows that I'm NOT "just another patient" and sees me as a person who needs a bit of help that they can provide... Take care, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joelswife Posted November 11, 2005 Author Share Posted November 11, 2005 I know just what you mean. It's funny because the surgeon was very handsome, sweet, funny and warm (and very capable). The onc didn't even take the gauze off Joel's neck tumor to look at it and when I asked if she would look at it, said that wasn't necessary, she was sure it was draining and only radiation would help. She was very annoyed when we got a second opinion and told me she thought the 2 week delay had probably made it too late for the radiation to help him. Perhaps there has just been too much negativity and she sees Joel as a non-compliant problem patient. We have an appt on Wed with the new onc and are hopeful. At this very vulnerable time in our lives, we just need all the positive reinforcement we can find. Probably should have fired her when she misdiagnosed his neck tumor as a side effect of chemo. Before this whole cancer thing, the word oncologist wasn't even in my vocabulary. I'm still learning every day. Take care, Pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted November 11, 2005 Share Posted November 11, 2005 boy, Pam, that last story boils my butt. Good riddance! Trust your guts. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted November 13, 2005 Share Posted November 13, 2005 I wish you great luck with the new onc. We love Mom's to pieces...he always has as much time for her as she wants/needs whether he is doing rounds at the hospital or in his office. We generally have to wait for awhile to get into our app't, because he gives the same attention to others, but he has made such a difference for our Mom. Keep us posted! Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leslie221 Posted November 13, 2005 Share Posted November 13, 2005 Pam, Hope you have a much better relationship with the new onc. The first one certainly lacks people skills. Here's to a fresh new start! Leslie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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