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Shopping Rules for Mens' Gifts


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Rule #1

When in doubt ~ buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he

> already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to

> complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills.

> No one knows why.


> Rule #2:

> If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the

> word `ratchet' or `socket' in it. Men love saying those two words.

> "Hey, George, can I borrow your ratchet?"

> "OK."

> "By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?"

> No one knows why.



> Rule #3:

> If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A


> cent ice scraper; a small bottle of de-icer; or something to hang

> from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars.

> No one knows why.


> Rule #4:

> Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men

> bathrobes.

> I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, He


> have invented Jockey shorts.


> Rule #5:

> You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones

> they have worn out. If you have a lot of money, buy your

> man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner.

> Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.


> Rule #6:

> Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs.

> If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years.


> Rule #7:

> Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of aftershave or

> deodorant. I'm told they do not stink ~ they are earthy.


> Rule #8:

> Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a

> couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Socks.

> Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink. You get the idea.

> No one knows why.


> Rule #9:

> Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required." It

> will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.


> Rule #10:

> Good places to shop for men include: Northwest Iron Works, Parr

> Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab

> Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also

> excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what

> it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need.

> Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks."


> Rule #11:

> Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook ~ but they will

> barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane

> tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. Oh the thrill! The

> challenge! "Who wants a hamburger?"


> Rule #12:

> Tickets to a Red Skins or Nationals game are a smart gift.


> he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century

> Quilts."

> Everyone knows why.


> Rule #13:

> Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chainsaw. If

> you don't know why, please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when


> gets a label maker.


> Rule #14:

> It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum


> ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension

> ladder.

> No one knows why.


> Rule #15:

> Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at

> least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of


> manila rope.

> No one knows why



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Wonderful! So True!

I haven't been able to assemble my shrine to Jim inside the house yet, but all I have to do is walk into the garage and he actually created his own shrine while here! Loved, loved, loved his tools and all the other 'stuff' that went with them. Guess that would be like the right shoes for the dress? Jim would even save the screws from items we were discarding. "You never know" he would say.

Thanks Ann!

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