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My letter to God.


KatieB

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God,

I've been thinking about "why" all these things have happened to us. Everyone says there's a reason, a "plan" , a path we must walk to understand and learn and grow. A lesson in your will....

I was a daddy's girl until I moved out. After my child was born, mom and I became the best of friends. I found out she was always right...she was infinitely kind, and she was the one person I always could depend on. Dad was always there, but always in the background, always an afterthought.

Then Dad was struck down (literally) with lung cancer...Not a warning at all, full-blown extensive cancer that had spread outside of the lungs...

Were you trying to teach me about love, about the importance my dad plays in my life, and how I need to love and appreciate him more? Well you did.

Were you trying to teach me about the danger of cigarettes, toxins, asbestos, polution and how I needed to take care of myself, because of what was happening to my dad?

Were you trying to teach me about responsibility and tenacity and patience as I sat thru every appointment with my dad, administered his medications and made sure we kept and went to the many many different doctors appointments?

Were you trying to teach me how to speek up in advocacy of my dad's care and research every night and learn and put that knowledge to use?

Were you trying to teach me about pain and fear and loss and sadness and crying that comes from so deep within, sometimes I think I will never stop?

Were you trying to teach me how to get up every morning and deal with watching my dad's pain and sadness and incredible sickness that ravage his body and threaten to take his mind, at the same time, doing all the things I have to do in life to keep my life and my own family from shattering into pieces?

Were you trying to teach me about bravery or courage in my dad's suffering even when I feel incredily helpless to do anything about what he is going thru?

Were you trying to teach me about prayer and hope and survival when you showed me that there are survivors of this disease?

Were you trying to teach me about inner-strength?

Were you trying to teach me that all the accomplishments I've had, the materials things I've acquired, don't mean anything, and that love and life and living one moment at a time are all that matter?

Were you trying to teach me about anger and dissapointment when the chemo stopped working and the cancer spread to dad's brain?

Dear God, you've taught me ALL of these things...now, please, teach me about miracles!

In your name I pray for my Dad's response to his new treatment, his body to begin to tolerate it, and renewed health for him and all those I love here on this message board.

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Dear Katie,

Your prayer was absolutely beautiful, I sat here and cried as I read it. I can echo so much of what you said. I know what it feels like to cry from so deep within yourself. I know what it feels like to try to find what God wants me to learn from this. What good does He want to come from this? How can I make good come from this?

Along with you, I want to proclaim Jesus' miracles when my father gets better and show everyone that they can believe. I want to say, "Look how He healed my father". I'll say it to everyone who'll listen.

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KatieB

What a wonderful prayer. Now that my daughter has her own family I hope she will come back to provide the same loving care you are giving your father. Sometimes teachable moments come in the most unexpected ways. Your are in my prayers right now.

Remember our hope is in the Lord,

Bengel

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Katie,

That was one of the most heart felt messages to a father here on earth and our father in heaven that I have ever read. You are an inspiration and your father I'm sure is so proud of you. I am sending prayers to you and your family. You are a blessing and truly a child of God.

God Bless you and your family and praying for a "CURE" for all of us.....

Karen

*********

Dx'd 3-03 3a NSC

4-1-03 to 5-20-03 taxol/carbo

3-25-03 to 5-15-03 radiation

7-23-03 started taxol/chemo (3 week treatments)

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Thank you for putting into words the same questions I've had since my dad's diagnosis. I've learned more about myself and my family in the last couple of months then I did in the last 27 years.

Keep striving for the miracles. Believing is the first step in winning!

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Just wanted to let you know that you continue to inspire me, even as you go through new struggles. My dad and your dad have almost identical diagnoses, and to have someone like you who can relate means the world. So God, if you are listening, add my prayers to the long list that I know are already out there for a miracle for us all. :D

Kelleyu

Dad dx. ext. SCLC, mets to liver, May,2003

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Praying for you, your mom, and especially your dad. I think you put it well with this...

love and life and living one moment at a time are all that matter?

I am praying so hard that the new treatments give you more time and healing.

Karen M.

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