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Grinch who stole Christmas


Patkid

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Hello, all,

Firstly, you are all in our thoughts and prayers during this holiday season.

I want to try to give you an update.............I won't drag you through the ugly details. Brian will be getting no more tx. Hospice will be contacted next week.

He tried so hard and withstood more than any human being should have to.

His bone marrow and blood are so depleted that even transfusions offer only very brief relief.

He has been w/out a chemo break since Feb.

He has been in the hospital and is home now. He has tons of pain meds prescribed and will enjoy the rest of his days tx free.

His potassium and magnesium levels reached the critical mark and began to affect his heart. Onc says that further chemo will kill him very quickly. It is hard to let go of the tx routine. It has sustained us for 10 months and has become a lot of who we are.

Now we are going to just be us.

Brian's concern is telling the kids............we will wait till after Christmas.

We have to negotiate w/ hospice because doc insists that Bri will need lab work and transfusions for the next couple weeks at least. But no more scans, chemo or the like. I don't care if hospice ever comes in............at least till I can no longer care for Brian.

I am not doing okay

Bri is his usual optimistic self. He asked the doctor about how long he may have left. Doc said, Brian you have outlived all expectations......Just keep on doing that. Then they hugged. Brian said he plans to continue to exceed expectations......

Since we are home, tho, he is very quiet and staying off to himself. I am sure he needs some alone time. I hope he doesn't need too long, cuz I need HIM.

Anyway............I am just so sad and I feel at 'loose ends'..............

Thanks for listening.

Brian and I are counting on Bill to watch over us. He promised and we trust him to keep his promise.

More when I can.

P

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Oh Pat, hugs and prayers to you and Brian. Of course you're not ok. Please lean on us and also know that God has great big arms wrapped around both of you. I pray for strength and comfort for both of you.

I don't know if this will be any help to you, but my Mom is 81 and 10 or so years ago she said to me "you know, when it is my time, I will miss you very much, but LOOK WHERE I'M GOING." That is a thought that will sustain me, I think.

You and Brian seem so close and I just can't imagine what you are going through, just know that I care and I'm praying.

Love and prayers,

Nancy B

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Pat and Brian,

I can only pray that God is merciful, that He gives you comfort, strength, grace, dignity, and understanding in the days and time to come.

You have my prayers now and always.

I will always be here when you need me God has said. Trust in Him.

All my love and warm hugs.

Shirleyb

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Pat,

Though I've been away from the board, I was drawn here a few moments ago and now I know why. Bill is with you, trust me, he is with you both and he will get Brian thru this and we will get each other thru it. I love you guys and I'm here for you.

All my love, prayers and support are yours!

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Oh Pat, there are no words. Just know that I am here any time, any hour of the day. Please give Brian my love and then sit down with the rest of my love wrapped around you. I hope the Osberg home is filled with tremendous love and much peace during this holiday time.

With love and indescribable sadness,

Lynne

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Pat and Brian,

I am so sad reading this. You are both so strong and brave. I hope and pray and I know that Brian will continue to exceed all expectations. I hope you make some wonderful memories together this holiday season and all the days ahead. Much love.

Karen

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Pat and Brian,I know this is a tough time.Now more than ever both of you need to make the most of each day and all the time together you possibly can.

Having walked out of the drs. office several times now with my wife crying so hard she shook,and my mind telling me Oh Crap I'm almost done.I do know what a rotten(to say the least)feeling this is.

EXPECTATIONS CAN BE AND ARE EXCEEDED.there are many of us here on this board that are exceeding them every day,just as you and Brian are.I'm not trying to instill false hope or say we won't be had by this disease,but I am hoping and praying that Brians pain can be managed.And both of you I know have the strength and faith to keep on exceeding expectations.

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Pat and Brian,

Like Ry said before me, of course you are not ok. This is hard news to take. There are no words from me that will make things better except to know that I am praying for you both. I trust Him to take care of you in His own way.

At least this decision to stop chemo may give Brian some quality time to enjoy life a little more. Enjoy each other. May God's love be with you.

Nina

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Pat & Brian,

All those one day at a times were practice for now. May the two of you find peace and some tiny bit of serenity in living life one day at a time in the days ahead.

Thinking of you both, as always.

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Dearest Pat,

I was afraid to read this post and I had a feeling something like this was happening since you have not updated us. I just wish you would have let us to continue to help you. This burden is too heavy to carry, but you do because that is what loving spouces do.

Words just are not coming for me. I just know that the love you two share is so special and my heart breaks as Brian's beautiful soul will be slipping away for his diseased body. Yes, we can take comfort to know he will be at peace, but at the same time I wish there was more time. But G-d seems to have other plans for your Brian.

I will continue to pray for a miracle but meanwhile, I pray for comfort for him. That is what is so important right now, for Brian to be pain free.

I really am at a loss for words as my heart is breaking for you both.

Take comfort to know that he will be in a better place and I strongly feel that Beth's, Bill will be there to help Brian with his transition like he promised.

I am so sorry Pat. I pray for you too, honey.

Maryanne

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