Leslie221 Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 More Murphy's Laws o Trust everybody ... then cut the cards. o Two wrongs are only the beginning. o If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. o To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. o Exceptions prove the rule ... and wreck the budget. o Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. o Quality assurance doesn't. o The tough part of a Data Processing Manager's job is that users don't really know what they want, but they know for certain what they don't want. o Exceptions always outnumber rules. o To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. o No one is listening until you make a mistake. o He who hesitates is probably right. o The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled. o If something is confidential, it will be left in the copier machine. o One child is not enough, but two children are far too many. o A clean tie attracts the soup of the day. o The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the bread. o The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs. o When there are sufficient funds in the checking account, checks take two weeks to clear. When there are insufficient funds, checks clear overnight. o The book you spent $20.95 for today will come out in paperback tomorrow. o The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs. o You never want the one you can afford. o Never ask the barber if you need a haircut or a salesman if his is a good price. o If it says, "one size fits all," it dosen't fit anyone. o You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. o The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it. o Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent. o When you drop change at a vending machine, the pennies will fall nearby, while all other coins will roll out of sight. o The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. o Experience is somthing you don't get until just after you need it. o Life can be only understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards. o Interchangeable parts won't. o No matter which way you go, it's uphill and against the wind. o If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods. o Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence. o Progress is made on alternative Fridays. o No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. o The hidden flaw never remains hidden. o As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airline re-encounters turbulence. o For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. o People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either of them being made. o A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. o When reviewing your notes for a test, the most important ones will be illegible. o A free agent is anything but. o The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish. o Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with. o The one item you want is never the one on sale. o The telephone will ring when you are outside the door, fumbling for your keys. o If only one price can be obtained for a quotation, the price will be unreasonable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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