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mandileigh

I miss her so...

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I don't even know where to begin. My mother passed away October 30, 2005 and I miss her so much words can't describe. She was the most precious and sweetest mother ever. I know everyone is going crazy inside, especially my dad. He is a mess. I am 20 years old and my parents are 47. My sister is 23 and expecting her first child at any time. I would have never thought one year ago at this time my life would be this way. My mom lived about six months after diagnosis of Stage IV with mets to the brain and liver. Even after her diagnosis, I just knew she was going to make it through. I never expected losing her and now I don't know how I'll live the rest of my life without her. I really feel for my sister because I know how much she wanted mom to be her when the baby comes. I feel for the baby because he/she will never get to experience the love that mom shared. I get so angry sometimes, I just don't understand why this happened...or why it happens to anyone. I have been reading posts for a while now and decided to share my feelings. I am truly sorry for everyone here who has lost a loved one.

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I am so very sorry to hear about your mom and the pain you are in.The group here is the BEST, you will find peace and comfort. I never met so many loving and compassionate people as I have here..Come here often and just vent away, you will see what I mean. No one can make the loss of your mother any less painful but it helps to have friends that care and understand your pain..

Prayers for you and your family..

Donna K

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(((Mandi))),

I remember your few posts from October. I am so sorry you have lost you very young Mother. I have no words of wisdom for you, just hugs to wrap you up in for now.

None of us understand this disease, LC. None of us understand why some of us have it and make it and some don't. None of us understand how such young folks can succumb to it. We do not understand any of this.

What we all DO understand is the depth of grief, and I can sense your devotion to your Mother and I am sorry. Hope you know that we are here for you if you need to cry, scream, rage, whatever. Again, Mandi, so very sorry.

(((Many warm hugs))),

Kasey

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(((Mandi))) I am so sorry for your loss. I also lost my mom in October. I know as hard as it is now that it would have been even harder to be as young as you and your sister. I will keep you in my prayers.

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Mandi,

I am so sorry for the pain you and your family are in. Your loss is so fresh and all I can say is it will take time for the pain to ease.

With your sister due to have her child soon, maybe put some energy into creating a book for her baby that features your mother and who she was and what she meant to all of you. This is something that you all can work on.

I am sure your father is lost. I know most of us are when we lose our spouses. I know my kids were lost too when they lost their father.

Time is the only thing I know that is certain to help. Give yourself permission to grieve.

Lean on the rest of us here to help you durning this time. We do understand.

Praying for us all.

Shirley

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I am so sorry to hear about your devastating loss. I lost my dad in October so I know how you are feeling. I was just reeling after I lost him and I didn't know how to go on. All I can tell you is that I understand your pain and I wish I had great answers as to why God puts people through this, but I am still searching for those answers myself. This is just a horrible disease and I pray that someday a cure can be found and good people won't have to suffer through it and people that love them won't have to watch them endure pain and suffering. I am saying a prayer for you for healing and my best advice is to live a good life and make your mom proud. That is what I am trying to do as well. It is not easy, but my dad was a survivor for a long time and I am trying to survive the great void his death has made in my life. God bless you.

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Mandi, my heart goes out to you and your family. I too lost my mom in October, but in 2004. She passed two weeks before her 65th birthday. I know there is a HUGH hole in your heart that seems like it will never heal, but that's just testament to how much you loved her and she you. It's been a year for me now and some days are good and others I could just cry all day, but I know I have to go on because that's what she would have wanted.

I pray for peace and happiness for you and your family in the year to come.

God Bless.

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Dear Mandi,

I am so sorry you lost you're Mom at such an early age. I know the heartache of grief and loss and I also know that time does heal. I think it is a wonderful idea to make that book about you're Mom and anyone that looks at it will get a clearer vision of who she was. I dont believe God puts us through this though. I do believe God was there to welcome you're Mom to Heaven when her time on Earth was finished. I have lost a lot of people at an early age (Dad 46, Brother 46, Husband 29) and I felt they were cheated out of a long life and I was cheated in losing them. I feel differently now and believe there was a reason and God had a plan for them. I can only imagine you did not feel you would lose you're Mom so quickly after DX and sometimes that is a blessing in disquise. God works in ways we do not understand and we have to trust him.

Oct was such a short time ago I am sure you are in the depths of grief as I was only months after their deaths but time does heal us and we do go on and we do learn to accept our losses. I was 2 weeks from graduating high school when my Dad passed away with a heart attack. I was in such shock and so I am sure was my Mom who was left with 8 children to bring up alone. Someway, somehow she did it, I did it and my siblings did it and I am assured you will too. Give yourself that time to grieve and work through it. We are all here for you Sweetie!!

God Bless you all,

Jane

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I am so sorry that you have to endure such pain and loss at such a young age. Mothers are such a central part of our lives that loosing them can feel like the world has ended. You will always feel her loss but eventually the pain will subside a litte then a little more. Just remember one thing when we lose someone we love they take a large part of us with them but they also leave a large part of themselves with us. They are never gone completely.

As for your sister and her baby someone here once made a statement that I believe is true. When someone

passes and a new baby is born the one who passes becomes the baby's guardian angel. So just think what a special angel that dear little one will have looking after it :!:

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((((Mandi))))) I am so very sorry that you lost your mother to this terrible disease. It is so very hard to lose someone you love. I can give you a few tips that may make things a bit easier for you.

Be sure and talk about your mom a lot. This will help. Friends may stop talking about your mom with you, for fear they are causing you pain and stirring up memories. Let your friends know it is OK to talk about your mom.

Have you thought of starting a journal? This journal can even be made up of letters that you write to your mom. I did this when my husband died and it really helped me a lot. Every time something happened that I would have normally told him, I would just write it down. I also wrote about a lot of my feelings and emotions. It really helped to release them onto the paper. Now, three years later, I can read those journals and see how far I have come in the healing process.

Remember....your mom will always be alive in your heart.

Please remember that you have all of us. We care and are always here to listen.

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So sorry yu lost your wonderful Mom...I am 43 years old and it is still so hard. You are never old enough to be without your Mom I think. And for yur sister, yes it is sad the baby will not have grandma but I think a great Aunt is also a wonderful thing to have. You and your sister should stick together...your Mom would want that. This disease sucks and there is no rhyme or reason to who gets it...it would seem like the bad, mean people would be more deserving but it doesnt work that way. Janet

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I am sorry for the loss of your mother.

We are here for you though......when you are having a bad day and missing your Mom just lean on us. We will try to lift you up and make it so you can get through the day. One day at a time. The feeings are still so raw, and I can feel how overwhelming all of this is for you.

I think that creating a memory book of your mother for your neice/nephew is a wonderful idea. When you are ready, of course.

Just take good care of yourself and come here often.

Warm Hugs,

Melind

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