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Can I talk about my Dad?


teresag

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It's been 5 years since he died, but sometimes when reading this board, things come rushing back. Mainecoon's post about how fiscally responsible Margaret was even to the last days reminded me of something.

My Dad wanted to know what came in the mail every day, especially if there were any checks he needed to sign, when he was dying. Mom & Dad had the foresight to establish a trust in both their names, so everything would transition smoothly to Mom when he died. But he still needed to know every day if any checks came in the mail so he could sign them. So my sister had the great idea that we should all send him a $1 check, just to give him something to sign. (There are six of us daughters.) He and Mom got a big laugh out of it. And I have my cancelled check, one of his last signatures.

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My dad also wanted to make sure that the bills were being taken care of. Your dad sounds like mine. My dad was responsible and wanted to make sure that the family was taken care of. I think your dad wanted things to look foward to like signing checks. I think its good that you still have one of his last signatures. I plan to keep a lot of dad's stuff.

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One of my bittersweet, sad but poignant memories is watching Dad's signature deteriorate as the end drew nearer, and he was finalizing finances for Mom. He was valiant and responsible and cogent up to about the last 24 hours before he left us. After eight years I still miss him and his great sense of humor and love of family. He succumbed to prostate cancer with bone metastases. :cry:

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Tiny, my Dad was coherent up until the end, too. Thank heaven for that - it was truly a blessing. He was occasionally confused about things that didn't matter like what day of the week it was, and his day-night orientation was all messed up, but overall he was cogent, witty and intelligent as ever. Some people say he sustained the rest of us through the experience with his wit.

I visited home about a month before he died, and he told me he only worried about Mom. I assured him we would take care of her, and that when the time came, he could go. It was okay to leave us, when the time came. What a gift I was given, to be able to have this conversation with him!

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I have literally spent hours with my banker concerning my finances, property, and holdings. I want to make sure, that when the time comes, the money will be there and that my wife will need to do nothing to access any of my accounts. I realize that the laws vary from state to state, so check the laws within your state. Every credit/debit card I have, my wife has also. All my stock holdings are now co-owned.

The bottom line - meet with your banker. Have them help you. That's what they get paid to do.

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