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Scans Scans Scans, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah


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Today we have a meeting with the oncologist to find out results from CT scans from the abdomen and lungs and a PET Scan from the brain. I guess at least we deal with it all at one time, but I am so extremely anxious today. My mom has been sleeping 24/7 for the last three days and this whole thing is really hitting me. I don't even hear what people are saying to me, I forget to do things, feel run down. I am hoping so much to have some positive results today...but deep down I know to be prepared for bad news because that's all we seem to get over and over again. I am such a normally optomistic person...but this lung cancer really challenges my positivity to the extent. I feel like I'm running on empty.

Anways, i'm asking for prayers for my mom and that we find some positive results in her scans. I've already been begging and bartering with God non stop.

It's actually crazy...if I go to the store, pick up an item and decide four aisles down that I don't want it anymore, I go and walk back down the aisle I got it from and put it in the exact place. I've been doing this with everything. If there is a homeless person on the corner, I've been lately making sure I give a buck to them. I feel bad if I couldn't find a way to give the homeless person any money because the light turned green before I could give him to him...then thoughts run through my head, should I make a U-turn, or tell him I'm sorry as I drive off? I figure if I do anything negative in the slightest that karma will rare it's ugly head on me. Am I going crazy?

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all of us have at one time or another are going through or have gone through what you are now experiencing. I sure don't know how our mind takes us there. All we need to do is trust in the Lord, but boy, that is a hard statement, when things are going rough,-- its easy when things are going good.

i sure will pray for the scans to be good today....

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