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Hospice said she is dying :(


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I just come home from a long day it's 2:00am I have being there since 10am. She is not to responsive but I also think they are giving her to much morphine. She has a fewer. I can believe this is actually happening. They were giving her .4 of morphine now they are up 10 or 20 ml every hour.It's this to much is the morphine killing her? I keep trying to wake her up and she can't. My husband is actually being good about this. Maybe now that I really need him he will be there for me. how can i prepare myself for this? I feel so broken and weak. I know she doesn't want tol ive us. but her body is giving up. Why do doctors treat terminal people like they should not receive the care that they deserve? I will try to keep you posted.

Martha

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Martha,

I am so very sad for you and the hurtful time that you are having to endure. I pray that you will have strength and that your mother will have peace.

I am so very sorry.

Prayers

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Martha,

I am so sorry that you have to endure and witness all of this. I have never worked with hospice myself, but many people here have and they rave about how great they are. I would tend to say that they are the experts and are trying to make your mom comfortable. It just plain sucks that she is no longer able to fight, but I pry that you can take comfort in knowing that she is not in pain. I am so sorry.

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So sorry to hear about your mom ... I have been dealing with my mother who is well is a pallative patient ...and I agree I think it is hard when the only decisions they make for treatment is uping the morphine...My mother is now on 60 ml plus a 10 ml every morning at 8:00 pm and then 10 ml every hour to 2 depending on pain and then the same as 8:00 pm at night ...Now her day cosits of waking to take meds ...sleep take meds try and eat before she sleeps again....wake up take pills ....sleep ....mom use to have a little energy but I think the meds knock her down so much it is just to hard to fight the reaction to stay awake and takes all her energy ...so we tell her just rest....ironic eh!! Well my prayers and thoughts are with you going through this myself I know the hurt, confussion, pain and agony it all causes...Man this disease royally SUCKS!!!!!!

shari

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(((((((((Martha)))))))) So very sorry. I'm sure that Hospice is trying to make your mother as comfortable as possible right now. I'm so glad that you have the support of your husband.

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If the Morphine is controlling her pain and she is in terrible pain without it then what she is getting is a good thing. If it is being given to her routinely when she complains of no pain then maybe you should ask questions. I know how hard this is but if anything is bothering you it is better to ask the questions now that to torment yourself with them later. I pray that you can get answers and comfort. God Bless you.

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I'm sorry your mom is getting worse. Many times pain meds are given on a schedule whether or not they are needed to keep a certain blood level going. Break through pain is much harder to control and knock back-- so the meds are given to keep the pain from starting again as it is much harder to get it under control. When my son broke his leg in hockey the doctor told us to give him the pain meds for a few days whether or not he needed them because if allowed to come back the pain would be harder to control.

I am glad your husband is being supportive.

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It is a fine line from giving enough morphine to ease the pain and giving just a tad more that puts one in a sleeping mode. Hospice is there to keep the patient comfortable -- period. I am guessing Hospice is there because you, your dad and the docs decided there was nothing further could be done to fight the disease. So the aim is to keep the patient comfortable. Sorry you have to go through this. Don

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Martha,

I know the pain you are going through right now. My family went though the same pain only one week ago today. Hospice told us to give my Dad 20 ml of morphine every hour, but we just could not do that. We felt like it would speed up his death and we knew he did not want to leave us. Since I was the one giving the medicine I could and would not give that much morphine unless my Dad needed it for pain. We gave him morphine every 4 hours or when pain increased.

Everyone raves about hospice, but during his last day with us hospice was really of no help. They provided us with the meds and left us on our own. They never told us what to expect or how to handle things. We thought they would stay with us until the end. It was stressful for us to deal with his care and our emotions at the same time, but in the end he died peacefully with us all around him, just what he wanted.

I will be praying for your family.

Denise

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I totally agree with Ry. I am a nurse, and the amount of pain the cancer patient can suffer is enormous. You have to maintain a certain level of comfort, and the pain can easily get out of hand if not treated. Hospice nurses are specialized nurses and know how to deal with the end of life needs. I pray for your mother and your family. This is a terrible journey for anyone to have to travel. :cry: I wish you comfort and peace. God bless you, Nancy C

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