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A Dog’s Letters To God...

- Dear God: Are there letter carriers in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

- Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

- Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it going to be the same old story?

- Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'? General Motors might sell a lot more Hummers if they were called the GM Schnauzer.

- Dear God: If you really do know everything, can we assume that you won’t jump the gun when we’re just rolling over and playing dead?

- Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

- Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

- Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?

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