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Mom wants out of rehab


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I definitely agree about getting your mom out of there asap. If it becomes necessary, there is a family leave act, that does allow you to take off a certain number of weeks to care for a family member without worrying about losing your job or insurance. I would ask someone at your company about this and if it had to be taken all at once, or if you could just split up the time. I'm really curious myself.

Joan

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OK, here's the deal today. I called the rehab center to speak with the case manager and told her about how mom needs someone to talk to. I explained about the situation at home and told her that we needed to talk with mom about her expectations for rehab and what are their expectations of her. She said she would have the nursing director call me and she gave me a phone number for a local cancer family network. She said they are very helpful.

The nursing director called me and I let her have it bc mom is dirty down there and a mess. She said it was unacceptable too. At 11:30 on my way to work, SF calls me bc mom will not get out of bed to do any therapy today. I stopped off at rehab and he was right. She said she was just having a bad day.

I told mom that this is a crossroad and that she has to want this like nothing else she has ever wanted. She cried and said I am so sorry to disappoint you. I promised her that if she chooses to stop, then I still respect her more than anyone else I have ever known and that I am so proud of her for getting this far. I took a look down there and it was a mess!! There was crap everywhere from her using the bedpan this morning and no one cleaning her. I was mad, mad as hell. Stepdad was sitting right there when I start pulling out cleansing cloths full of crap. We left her room to find the nursing director who apologized and said she would talk to the techs. I told her that I told mom the SHE committed to making sure mom was clean. In the meantime, it was lunch time while I was there and I told mom if she got up, got dressed, ate lunch and went to her 2pm therapy, I would bring the boys by tonight. Pitiful, aren't I? BUT, she agreed, so we shall see...

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I hope you find a better place soon Lori. I think that it is good that your mom made the decison to move. She is not all that helpless... she knows that the place where she is now is messing up. I hope she finds a place that will be interested in getting your mom to exericse and to start walking around. Then she can get that d--n catheter out. Maybe you should be doucumenting the standard (or lack of) care she is getting there.

Don M

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Hi Lori:

I know exactly what you are going through. My husband was in rehab for 30 days after 40 days in ICU and 20 days in regular floor. He went in to removed one funky lung tumor which was stage 1, surgery gone bad, caught tons of blood infection, and bla bla bla. Anyway, I had to go on family leave the entire time he was in the hospital, I was cripple and can't co nothing mentally. I salute you for being able to manage, family, mom, SF etc. I literally lived in the hospital with him and just go home to take a shower. They even gave my own bed in ICU, regular floor, and rehab. I stayed their with my husband that when we left the hospital, I felt like I am doctor :-). Anyway, all the nurses, cna's are so glad, because I just don't wait for nobody to show up, I cleaned my husband up everytime he needs attention. At first I called and it takes minimum 20 mins to get help, and by the time they get there, he will be stinking!. Anyway, doctors said they never seen somebody stayed in bed for 90 days without a single bed sore, thanks tome. Yes, I went through hell, I never gave up, my husband even coded blue (Flat Line) 2x, they through me out ICU, but God is good, hang in there and keep the faith. Your mom will rocover in due time. I will be praying for her and your entire family.

God Bless

Love

Malou

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