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Feeling Sad Tonight


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I thought I was feeling pretty good this week. I was able to spend a lot of time with my Mom. We had a nice shopping day, dinner out, and a sleepover. It has been two weeks since my Dad passed away. For the first week I could have slept all day every day. I was so tired all the time, just getting the kids off to school seemed like a lot of work. I'm slowly getting my energy back.

All of a sudden tonight the sadness came back. Jeff took Nick to hockey practice,and I was making ribs for dinner. My Mom was eating over with us, and I just could not help but miss my Dad. Dad always loved it when I cooked him a good meal. We are so lucky that he enjoyed eating until his final days. It is one thing that we could all still do together. So many other things had been taken away from us. As I prepared dinner, I thought about how much my Dad would have enjoyed taking Nick to hockey practice tonight, afterwards he would have come back for a good dinner with us all. There was an empty seat at the table and just enough ribs left over for him to eat. We watched the Gophers on TV after dinner and every goal reminded me of how Dad would cheer with us all. He would get up and give us all high fives. When he became to weak to get up we would go to him. Watching hockey and eating a good meal were his favorite things to do right up until his last day. I really missed him tonight. I hate this cancer, it seems so unfair that he had to go so soon. I wish I could have found something to help him fight this beast. Thanks for listening.


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There will come a time when these wonderful memories of your much loved Father will not evoke so much sadness. It won't mean that you love him less, or that you do not miss him. You'll remember your Dad as he would want you to remember him, with love and the contentment that comes from having had the priviledge of such a wonderful parent. But emotional healing takes time and we all heal at different rates and in different ways. Just know that many of us are with you.

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Oh Denise - I sooooooooooooo understand. I feel like I just don't "know" how I should feel. When I am happy for a moment I feel guilty -- although I know my mom would never ever want that...and I just feel so much for dad...I have a husband, a new baby, etc all to look forward to sharing thing with, and my dad is going to be alone. It make me grieve for him and for myself. Hang in there...I will be thinking about you. HOlly

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Hi Denise,

Just want you to know that I am thinking of you. This is sill so new to all of you. Your feelings will go off and on for a long while.

You just have to let it out when that feeling comes over you. There will be so many things that will pop up that will remind you of your dad. Some things you will smile about and some will put you in tears. This is all normal, and you certainly are not alone. This happens to me often as my mom has been gone less than a year.

I have good days mostly, but sometimes when I think I am coping pretty good, something comes up and the tears are streaming down my face.

What helps me is I know my mom is near if I need her. I talk to her and that makes me feel better.

Take care, in time it will get more tolerable.


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Wish I could deliver this hug in person. Your posts always have so strongly shown the deep love you have for your father. He will always be alive in your heart. In an interview that Josh Groban did after the release of "To Where You Are" he said that his grandmother used to always tell him.....

"Every time you think of me, I will always be alive. Your memories will keep me alive."

Denise, if we always remember them, they will live on in our hearts and minds!!!

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