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Worried about Dad


MilliBr1

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Just wanted to ask for some prayers for my dad and some wisdom for us daughters on how to help him. His seems so lonely and depressed without mom. He has gained alot of weight and keeps gaining. He says he feels tired and weak. He just had a check up and all the tests came back fine. We have suggested medicine for depression and for him to get a sleep study, but he just ignores that. Lately he makes comments about "if he is here in the spring" or " maybe I will be seeing mom sooner that I thought". He is not suicidal but just feels his health is deteriorating. So we are just trying to come up with something for him to do that will give him some purpose. Mom was the motivator, she always had projects going to keep him busy. I've offered him to come stay with us, but he always says not now maybe later. I'm going to offer again this weekend when I'm there. I'm hoping if he comes I can get him back on a good diet and show him some easy recipes. I hate to cook so I'm all about quick and easy 8) . Sorry didn't mean to ramble on, but if you have a few spare prayers we could use them, thanks.

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I'll be glad to say prayers for your dad. I know how lost he feels without your mom by his side. It's really important that he keeps busy right now. It's also important the he's getting the right amount of sleep. I would try to encourage him to get a check up, if possible. It's very possible that he may need to take some anti-depressants for a while.

I can understand him not wanting to leave home right now. For a long time after Dennis's death, I had a problem being away from home. When I went out, I would have this urgent need (almost panic) to ghet back home. I think I had been programmed to think Dennis would be there waiting for me and also worried that he needed me, after months of caregiving.

Try and think about what your dad liked to do for hobbies. Maybe you can get him interested in some new ones. Does he like gardening? If so, maybe you could suggest planting a new garden in memory of your mom. I hope you find something that will help. I know he is lost without your mom.

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Oh Millie, my heart just breaks for you and your dad. I can't even imagine being with my spouse for a long time and then losing them. I was with my hubby for only 7 years and I had to move in with my in-laws when he passed. But, here you have your dad who knows no other life than living with your mom. It is so sad, but unfortunately the cycle of life. I would think it would help him tremendously to be with you guys during this time of transition. Do you have kids? If so, he will be distracted by them while with you and then probably very ready to go back home! :lol:

I encourage you to keep trying to get him to stay with you for a while. It will help you all.

Prayers for a good outcome. XOXO to you for all of your love and devotion to your dad.

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Millie,

Are you certain that you were given the correct information on his medical test results? The first thing that came to my mind when you mentioned the weight gain and other symptoms was onset of Diabetes. And frankly, after everything I've experienced when things come back "normal" and I'm certainly NOT normal I question the validity of the tests and the results. Double check on your Dad's health, okay? I know this has to be hard on you coming so soon after losing your Mom, but don't let the health issues slide until YOU are convinced that your Dad is physically okay.

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Ann thanks for sharing about your need to be home at first. We have all noticed dad is quick to get back home so that help me understand how he may be feeling.

Lori, I have two adult daughters, but I did just get some goond news my youngest just got engaged! Maybe the thought of her wedding will help some and the possibilty of great grand babies, of course that may scare him too, lol.

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Many prayers for your family at this time. Always think positive. 2nd opinion Can't huurt if you think it will help. Never give up the Fight Deb didnot ever give up on Daisy and I for 3 years with her LC. Just got abeeter offer and took it. Love and Prayers

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Fay, we also thought diabetes. He has had 2 tests, the first test the doctor felt he was boderline and with this test he said he was fine, at least that what dad says. I am going to try to get him to a sleep study because I know he has apnea. My biggest problem is now after all moms doctors and hospital visits dad feels he has had enough for awhile so it it really hard to convince him to go.

Thanks rsw and bunny for your thoughts and prayers.

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Hi Millie,

You and dad are in my prayers...I think its probably difficult for him to go to doctors at this time even though it is necessary. When I went for my check up aftrer Mom passed I cried at the office and yesterday also. The doctor just seems to bring back bad memories of taking Mom to so many appointments. Best of luck in keeping Dad busy and healthy

Janet

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