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For Those Who Enjoy Language (or Severe Distortions, thereof )

a.. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

b.. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before

c.. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

d.. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

e.. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris must be in Seine

f.. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

g.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

h.. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

i.. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

j.. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

k. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

l.. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

m.. Definition of a will: A dead give away.

n.. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

o.. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

p.. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

q.. If you don't pay your exorcist, you'll get repossessed.

r.. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

s.. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

t.. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

u.. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

v.. Every calendar's days are numbered.

w.. A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.

x.. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

y.. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

z.. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

aa.. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

ab.. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

ac.. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

ad.. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

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