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Getting to Know You - January 30


Ann

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As I said until my mom I never knew anyone with cancer but my husbands grandmother. In both cases it was different. His grandmother knew she had cancer before she was diagnosed and once she was diagnosed it went quickly. She had no treatment. None was offered. I loved talking to her but it was mostly a one way conversation. She would talk as if she were talking to herself always wondering as most do what she had done to deserve it.

As for my mom I lived 2500 miles from her. She was never really open with me. I had no idea her condition until I came for a visit. By then she had declined so much that talking to her about it was next to impossible. She recieved only one series of radiation treatments and was never even followed up. That was in 1985 and I question how much longer she would have lived had she recieved better care.

So as I said talking to people about cancer is a very new thing to me sense Johnny.

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Honestly, I always had a difficult time talking to people that had cancer. I felt uncomfortable and I thought it made them equally uncomfortable. As a caregiver, it always helped me to talk. I don't think Dennis was ever very comfortable talking to people about his cancer. He even seemed to have a hard time talking to family members. Now, I feel very at ease talking to family members and caregivers about cancer but still worry a bit about talking to the patient.

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Never uncomfortable with ANY sickness.

My father had lymphoma. My mother had LC. My best friend had ovarian cancer. Daughter of a man I had in my life had Ewing's sarcoma. A cousin had LC - remission - then 10 years later it came back ~ OR new primary?? Fred's first wife had melanoma. All died. Cancer was a big part of life for many years. I guess on some level it is fitting to be in the place I am now. Don't know.

Kasey

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Ann i can not say i felt uncomfortable talking to some one with cancer but it was more of curiosity as to type and other small thing's. But will admit i did not like it when i had to deliver anything that that brought me in contact with the cancer treatment center and seeing the people there, i guess it brought my own mortality more to the for front..But i also do not like going around hospital's and funeral home's i suppose for the same reason's....

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my only other exposure was my beloved aunt pam, and I had two things working against me there: I was extremely immature, even for my then-young age (20-21) and I was physically far from her. I had no concept of the enormity of what she was going through, or that it would kill her, until it was too late. :cry:

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was not comfortable talking about it before diagnosis. I was never sure how much the person I was talking to wanted or didn't want to talk about it. I think that was the part I was uncomfortable about. I couldn't "read" them. I sensed fear. Also, I wasn't familiar with treatments ...chemo, radiation etc. I was not knowledgeable and didn't know how to get educated.

I never thought that I would get cancer. It was the other guys disease. Not mine. Ever.

I can now talk a mean streak to someone who wants to know.

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My dear friend Sandy had breast cancer about 15 years ago. She has told me that I was the only person that did not treat the BIG C like some catchy disease and continued to treat her the same. My friend that died 2 days after Earl from ALS was upset that people did not approach her when she was in her wheelchair and ask her why she was there. She wanted to be an advocate for ALS and joked about putting a sign on the back of her chair.

Prejudice, unkindness, they scare me. Cancer no.

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Joel had some relatives who had C, but I never discussed it with them.

Joel sister had Breast cancer years ago, and I really do not remember much about it. She did the treatments had lump removed and has been fine. Her husband had a colon removed due to cancer. Joels mom had colon cancer but found it early and was cured.

So I guess there were lots of people I knew who did have it, but I just never discussed it.

We have a good friend who is fighting stage 4 brain cancer. She is doing remarable, it has been a year now. Her son has chest cancer and we talk to them all the time about it.

So I could say thinking about it now, before Joel had LC that I never discussed it... but I do now.

Maryanne

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I can honestly say I was comfortable talking about cancer on a cerebrel level but there was no emotion behind it..even though my Mom had breast cancer1 I lived so far away and so much was kept from me that I never internalized any of her experience. Now, as I go through this with my husband,I look back and wonder where the heck my head was. Why didn't I get more involved? I was such an innocent idiot back then..ahh, nevermore.

Trish

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Prior to being in the position of the patient, I had no idea what someone would be feeling to know they had a disease that could kill them. Now I know, and I don't like it. I reach out to people now, newcomers to this "normal" to comfort them in their terror.

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I don't really know... I know that I can't really remember a time when cancer wasn't a part of my life... Until Mom, it had never hit as close to home, but it seemed like growing up there was always someone special to me fighting it. First a baby sitter of mine had ovarian cancer when she was in high school(she was a lousy baby sitter, but I still loved her. ;)), then Mom's best friend died from breast cancer and we were very involved with her right through the end. I still remember going to her house after hospice had come in... (And by the way, I do believe they are tag-teaming us now with playful little 'hauntings....')

And Mom is the 4th of 7 kids in her family to have battled it. 2 of her brothers survived, and she and another brother gave their lives.

I think I'm a lot more careful about what I say now, having been through all the crazy comments myself as a caregiver, and watching Mom deal with them as well. But when Jenny and Cindy and my uncle's all dealt with it, I guess I still just talked to them like Jenny and Cindy my uncle's. You know? But maybe I don't remember.

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