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Abbott and Costello Buy a Computer

Fay A.

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| You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and

| Costello, and too old to REALLY understand

| computers, to fully appreciate this.


| If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today,

| their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have

| gone something like this:



| ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

| COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den

| and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

| ABBOTT: Mac?

| COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

| ABBOTT: Your computer?

| COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

| ABBOTT: Mac?

| COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

| ABBOTT: What about Windows?

| COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

| ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

| COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look

| at the windows?

| ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

| COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer

| and software.

| ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

| COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I

| can use to write proposals, track expenses and run

| my business. What do you have?

| ABBOTT: Office.

| COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend

| anything?

| ABBOTT: I just did.

| COSTELLO: You just did what?

| ABBOTT: Recommend something.

| COSTELLO: You recommended something?

| ABBOTT: Yes.

| COSTELLO: For my office?

| ABBOTT: Yes.

| COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

| ABBOTT: Office.

| COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

| ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

| COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK,

| let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I

| want to type a proposal. What do I need?

| ABBOTT: Word.

| COSTELLO: What word?

| ABBOTT: Word in Office.

| COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

| ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

| COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

| ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue

| "W".

| COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you

| don't start with some straight answers. What about

| financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track

| my money with?

| ABBOTT: Money.

| COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

| ABBOTT: Money.

| COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

| ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

| COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

| ABBOTT: Money.

| COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

| ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

| COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer?

| How much?

| ABBOTT: One copy.

| COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

| ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

| COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?


| (A few days later)

| ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

| COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

| ABBOTT: Click on "START".............

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