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A Big Loss!


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Thank you, Michele. Many of us here have lost special people lately, so your sympathy is much appreciated.

Please know that I am exteding my sympathy back to you. Losing a Father is so very difficult. This is a comforting place to be for support you may need.


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Hi Michele,

So sorry for the loss of your dad. I lost my mom 7 months ago so I know how you feel.

You are right, you dad was so young to have his life snuffed out like that. This is a horrible monster.

Please accept my condolences. We are always here for you if you want to vent or need support coping.


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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Everyone,

Thank you for all the support it really is helping me alot. But, it's been almost 3mts and the pain seems to getting worse. And the other problem is my poor Mother she breaks my heart, she is only 63 years old and all she keeps telling us is that her life is over. My sister & I try to be with her as much as possibe and we are always telling her how much we need her but nothing seems to help. Everytime we call her she's crying its sooo sad.

Help!! :cry:



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I am sorry about the loss of your Dad. I know it is so difficult. I lost my Dad in Sept'05. I just never imagined life without my Dad. Losing him was so bad, not to mention having to have him suffer through this terrible sickness. I also feel badly for my Mom. My Mom was born in Italy and she is very old fashioned. She doesn't drive, she doesn't go out with friends. When my Dad was alive and well she spent most days cooking, cleaning, and bargain hunting with my Dad. She really relies on my sisters and I to keep her busy. I feel so bad for her because she is alone and wants to keep busy but at the same time it is difficult because I am married and have two small children. My Mom enjoys spending time with my kids, coming over my house(or my sisters), having dinner at my house(I ask her to help me cook something or she will cook it herself). I think keeping her busy helps.

Take care,


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I am so very sorry for the pain you are feeling, and for your mother's deep grief. I know that people tell you that time will heal. But it has only been 3 months, and that is still too soon to expect that those wounds will be less raw. Plus, I think that to expect to go back to the way life used to be is never going to happen. You will love your father always, and there will always be that hole in your heart where he touched it. But you will learn to adjust and live a new normal. You can try and minimize that hole by realizing he is still with you, but as an angel in heaven watching over you and your children. I know that this will not seem like enough, especially when your heart and soul wants nothing more than to wrap your arms around him just one more time. You want to see his face and hear his voice. But you can see him in the signs around you, and see parts of him in his grandchildren. Understand that this pain you feel is normal, and you are entitled to feel terrible, to cry and to rage against this grief. Don't be hard on yourself, and listen to your body and your heart.

Also remember this is normal for your mom. She has lost her love, her partner in life, her confidant, her best friend. She has such grief and such fear right now. In a way, her life as she knew it is over. It will never be the same again. Her daily activities are changed as she wakes up in an empty bed, goes through the motions of the day without the anticipation of coming home to a loving spouse, she cooks for one, she buys for one, and she goes to an empty bed; so much loneliness. Her plans she made for her future will not be, and she needs to start over from the beginning and make new plans alone. that is very scary. So, she grieves not only for the loss of her love, but also the loss of the life she had and thought she had ahead of her. But what you need to do for her is just understand when she cries and not avoid her for it, and be there for her to talk to, to cry to, and make her feel like she will never be fully alone no matter what and that you don't expect or want to push her into hiding her feelings or pretend she is feeling something she is not. Don't try to convince her that things will get back to normal, but help her understand that there will be a new normal. A life that is still filled with moments of joy and laughter. There is still beauty around her, and still lots for her to look forward to in life. She has you and your sister, and all her grandchildren who want her to share in their lives.

These are just my thoughts, and I really do not have any experience with what you are going through. I have never lost anyone close to me, but these are my thoughts coming from the perspective of my fears and feelings as I ponder the possibility of losing my husband. I too have thought many times that if I were to lose him, I would have nothing to live for, my life would be over. So they are from a wife's point of view. I may be way off, and I don't mean to be presumptuous or offend you. Just my two cents.

I will pray for you and your family, and hope that God eases your pain and brings you comfort and peace of mind.


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