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Sunday - 6 Months


stand4hope

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Hello to all my wonderful LCSC friends.

Sunday, Don will have been gone 6 months. It's hard to believe, isn't it? I still can't get my arms wrapped around the idea that he is no longer a part of my life. After 38 years of marriage, it's really tough to make that adjustment.

The first 5 months were pretty rocky for me, with lots of tears and up and down days. This last month I have had some unexpected busy work with my job which has kept me working about 12 hours a day. Because of that, I haven't had much time to think about how I'm doing, let alone deal with it.

I did have one horrible, horrible Saturday a few weeks ago where I sunk into a deep hole of depression, which I think was brought on by being so overwhelmed with my job, the mess in the house, and the fact that Don wasn't here for me to whine to and cry on his shoulder. It was a very bad day. I literally wished I could have joined Don and not have to deal with anything ever again. I cried all day, and went to bed in the afternoon and stayed there until the next morning. That morning, I decided I wasn't going to stay in that pit and got busy and worked in my house all day until I thought I would drop. I was like a train on full throttle and nobody better get in my way. At the end of the day, I was feeling a lot better.

Since Aug. 5, the day Don died, we have lost a lot of others here or their loved ones, and it has been a tough time for many. I am so sorry for all of you who have lost someone you love, and believe me, I know how much it hurts.

With God's help, I will continue to face each day. Even though I have been so incredibly busy since Don died, I know the day is coming when things will slow down. I hope to be prepared for that by having other activities (more fun activities - not like this work stuff) to keep me busy and moving forward.

I just wanted to let you all know I'm still here, still praying for all of you, and I am hanging on. I also want to thank those of you who have stayed in touch with PMs, emails and cards. I love you all!

I pray God's blessing on each and every one of you.

Love,

Peggy

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Peggy,

you are always in my thoughts and prayers. We must have alot in common. I only do well when I keep busy- no matter what it is- I must keep busy, and that has helped alot.

It's been 2 years for us and my mom does the absolute worst during down times- when I keep her occupied and busy and thinking of other things, she does better.

We are always going to miss them..It's getting "used" to them being gone that is so hard.

Thank you for posting, and for staying with us and being here when you can. It means so much to us and together, we will make it thru.

Many hugs,

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Hello Dear Peggy,

It was great to read a post from you and see how you are doing. You are such a strong woman yet it knocks you on you're *ss doesnt it? I think about you all the time and wonder how you are. Keep plugging away my friend. One foot in front of the other a day at a time. I love you GF!

God Bless,

Jane

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Peggy, I am a year ahead of you and I still have those horrible days. I still wait for the door to open and Earl to yell, Hi Babe, I'm home.

Living day to day with someone, bouncing every idea off of them, holding their hand during tough times, catching each others eyes and smiling just by chance, and so many other things - missing these are torture.

But you are right, with the help of God and our families, our work, and our friends we trudge forward and we laugh and smile but mostly we remember and grieve.

I know that we both really never expected this to happen. even though our sweethearts were sick for so long. I still comes as a shock with total disbelief.

But knowing that they are still with us spiritually and in memories offers some peace.

Let's see pictures of all the work at the house.

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Living day to day with someone, bouncing every idea off of them, holding their hand during tough times, catching each others eyes and smiling just by chance, and so many other things - missing these are torture.

That's it! You nailed it, Ginny! I mean you slammed that nail into the wood with one swing with those words. That's the hardest part. Just the talking, the sharing, the winks, the eye rolls when some family member was doing their usual annoying thing (LOL) or his little kicks under the table that said, "Look" or "What did I tell you", telling him about the idiot on the road, the small talk about the birds and the dogs, the little hello, good-bye and good night kisses, and just being able to tell him I had a bad day, good day and for him to do the same.

All these things become a permanent part of our days, and . . . . well, it's just hard.

Let's see pictures of all the work at the house.

Yes ma'am! I haven't had time to finish staining a few doors, and some painting, etc., but I'll get those pictures taken and posted, even though it isn't finished. The sunroom and deck are awesome. I put a TV in the sunroom, and Mike has been staying overnight a lot and sleeps out there. He's actually going to move back in before the end of the month and use the new bedroom.

Love,

Peggy

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Hi Peggy,

Thanks for checking in. It is always a pleasure to read your posts.

((((((PEGGY)))))) for the 6 months.

I can't wait to see the pics of all the renovations that were done.

Also so glad that Mike is moving home. At least you will always have company and that will certainly help you heal.

Just want you to know that I am thinking about you and sending you good vibes.

Maryanne :wink:

PS. Maybe Don gave you a little kick in the butt to help you out of your funk and do something constructive like cleaning the house. I know he is watching over you. :wink:

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Peggy,

It is good to see you post. I know too how hard it is to lose that one person you feel is half your soul.

I am glad to see you are busy and it is good to know Mike is coming back home. I know for me it has helped to have the kids close to home. And to have the projects.

Thanks for the update and for sticking around.

Shirleyb

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Peggy,

I cannot believe it has been 6 months. I know some days it feels like 6 years, and some days it feels like 6 hours. Weird, isn't it? Ginny plucked the bullseye right out of the heart as she spoke of all of those 'ordinary' moments that all added up to a whole bunch of special. I know we cannot make any more of those moments, but it's nice to know that we have a place in our hearts reserved for all of those nice, enjoyable, memories. I know Don is so proud of you.

Take care of yourself and so nice to hear your 'voice' again,

Lynne

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Dear peggy, Our husbands ages and cases were so similar that I grabbed onto everything you wrote during his treatment..and still do. I'm so glad you checked in. Be good to yourself, you deserve it. It's all so hard. I know I still miss my mom and she died of cancer 11 years ago. I don't dwell on it but..well, you know.

love,

Trish

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I have not been alone for 6 weeks yet and can not imagine doing this for 6 months.

You are just ahead of me on this path and I am following you and Beth and Lynne and Nancy and Ginny and others................I treasure each of you and I want you to know that I am back behind you and trying to live up to the brave example that all of you set.

I love each of you and Peggy, I am hugging you right now.

I think Lynne has a big fluffy towel for each of us and I take such comfort in all of you.

Love

P

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Thank you all for your kind words. I got through the day - spent most of it online spending money. :shock: I did almost no work and made it my first official "Peggy day" since Don's been gone. It felt good.

Whenever I would tell Don I didn't feel like doing such and such and would rather take a nap, he ALWAYS said, "Then, take a nap!" Well, I didn't take a nap, but I didn't do any of the stuff I "should" have done, and I liked it.

Thanks again for the loving support - I need it.

Love to all,

Peggy

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  • 2 weeks later...

Peggy,

Was unable to answer your post on February 3rd,

was way down still after twenty seven months,

just a bad attack of loneliness on my birthday

small attack that lasted for over a week,

now I'm getting out of it and hope to never

get another one as bad.

Keeping busy is always an answer but as soon

as the present work is done, the time is there

and have to be filled, that is when we have to

find activities that interest us and fill some

blank time.

You will find your answers with time and some

fun periods will be there for you.

Hugs

Jackie

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Dear Peggy,

It was so nice to hear from you again. I have thought of you a lot and wondered how you were. I sent an email but it was returned.

I can empathise with you on your "lonely Saturday". I have had more than a few of those; somehow it always seems worse at the weekends. I too have often felt as that I would rather have gone with Dave than face the awful "aloneness" without him. It seems however that God has other things in mind for us doesn't it!

Keep your spirits up.

God Bless,

Paddy

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