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My sweet Joel is gone


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As soon as the dr told us that hospice was the only option, Joel declined rapidly. His sister Sheila came in to be with us. Our son changed his flight but was in the air when Joel died on Feb 8, the day before his 66th birthday. Joel died in extreme pain and agony and we were never able to get relief until the last hour of his life. I am so angry about that and don't understand. He was literally writhing in pain the morning he died and we were just helpless. That said, being with him while he passed away was probably one of the most profound experiences of my life; more intimate than holding hands, sex, etc. It was truly an honor to be with him at that time and I'm so grateful he was able to die at home. He was loved so much and he knew it. I will post the obituary in a couple days. I never knew I could cry so much and everything, absolutely everything reminds me of him. The ONLY good thing about the pain was that it made it so much easier for me to let him go.

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Oh, Pam, I am so sorry to hear this. I understand the never-ending tears.

I just hate hearing that Joel was in such horrible pain. I hear this so much from others, and I just don't understand it. Maybe it's because doctors/institutions are afraid of the potential repercussions if they over-medicate. Who knows? Anyway, it just makes me very sad when I hear this.

Pam, as you know, there are a lot of us here who have been on this same journey, and I hope you will call on us if you need help getting through this tough time.

Hang in there, sweetie, and my prayers are with you!



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Oh Pam,

My very deepest of condolences goes out to you on the passing of your Joel. I am so sorry that he was in such pain. Thank G-d he left that sick body behind and went to a painfree peaceful place that he so much deserved.

But I am so glad that you shared that initimate moments with him before he left.

I am so sorry for you and your loss. I am sending prayers to you for strength to endure the days ahead.

We are here for you to help you through this.


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Pam -

I am so sorry. YOu have been such an amazing advocate for Joel. I feel like our paths were so similar...and I am so sorry for your loss. But, I know you take great peace in the fact that Joel is completely painfree now. I wish I could give you words of advice to ease the pain....I do promise that the all consuming pain will lighten up withtime. It has been five weeks for me, and I am able to get through the days somewhat better than I was weeks ago.

All my love to you and your family now and in the coming weeks.



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