Joelswife Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 As soon as the dr told us that hospice was the only option, Joel declined rapidly. His sister Sheila came in to be with us. Our son changed his flight but was in the air when Joel died on Feb 8, the day before his 66th birthday. Joel died in extreme pain and agony and we were never able to get relief until the last hour of his life. I am so angry about that and don't understand. He was literally writhing in pain the morning he died and we were just helpless. That said, being with him while he passed away was probably one of the most profound experiences of my life; more intimate than holding hands, sex, etc. It was truly an honor to be with him at that time and I'm so grateful he was able to die at home. He was loved so much and he knew it. I will post the obituary in a couple days. I never knew I could cry so much and everything, absolutely everything reminds me of him. The ONLY good thing about the pain was that it made it so much easier for me to let him go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadstimeon Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Pam, I'm very sorry for you loss. My condolences to you and your family. Rich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 So very sorry to hear your sad news. May you find some strength and comfort with your family this week. gail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michelepal Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Pam, I am so sorry for your loss, It is so painful to lose someone you love. My prayers are with you and your Family Michele Dad dx NSCLC on 04-01-05 Passed away 11-18-05 At 66 years old Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calintay Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 (((PAM))) I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT JOEL. MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU ALL AT THIS DIFFICULT TIME. HEIDI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail p-m Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 I'm so very sorry to hear about Joel. I'm sure it was great comfort for him to pass at home with you by his side. My sincere condolences. gail p-m Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Pam, my heartfelt sympathies to you and your family. Such a loss. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Oh, Pam, I am so sorry to hear this. I understand the never-ending tears. I just hate hearing that Joel was in such horrible pain. I hear this so much from others, and I just don't understand it. Maybe it's because doctors/institutions are afraid of the potential repercussions if they over-medicate. Who knows? Anyway, it just makes me very sad when I hear this. Pam, as you know, there are a lot of us here who have been on this same journey, and I hope you will call on us if you need help getting through this tough time. Hang in there, sweetie, and my prayers are with you! Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 I am so very sorry about Joel. My sympathy to you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jorja Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 I am so very sorry. My prayers are with you. love, jorja Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna G Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Pam I am so sorry for your loss. I pray for you and your family for peace during this most difficult time. Donna G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 I am so very sorry for your loss. I am sorry that Joel experienced such pain. My prayers are with you and your family. Prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geri Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 I am so sorry that Joel suffered so badly until the end. My sympathies, Geri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Pam,I am very sorry for the loss of Joel.I'm also sad that he had to endure all that pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 I am so sorry to hear this sad news. your experience sounds heartbreaking, but your peace with it is a powerful example. again, I'm just so sorry. coco amie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mayos Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Please know my tears are falling for your loss of Joel....The pain you describe is so very unneccessary today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerbil runner Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 I'm so sorry Joel had to experience such pain. Prayers for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Oh Pam, My very deepest of condolences goes out to you on the passing of your Joel. I am so sorry that he was in such pain. Thank G-d he left that sick body behind and went to a painfree peaceful place that he so much deserved. But I am so glad that you shared that initimate moments with him before he left. I am so sorry for you and your loss. I am sending prayers to you for strength to endure the days ahead. We are here for you to help you through this. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Pam, Condolences to you and your family. I am sad to read this news. God Bless and prayers, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchi Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Pam, I am sadden to hear of Joel's passing and that he was in so much pain. He is at peace now, no cancer no pain. Alan and I send prayers to you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 I'm so very sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancy c Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Pam, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I am praying for you to have comfort and peace. God bless you, Nancy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollyanne Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 Pam - I am so sorry. YOu have been such an amazing advocate for Joel. I feel like our paths were so similar...and I am so sorry for your loss. But, I know you take great peace in the fact that Joel is completely painfree now. I wish I could give you words of advice to ease the pain....I do promise that the all consuming pain will lighten up withtime. It has been five weeks for me, and I am able to get through the days somewhat better than I was weeks ago. All my love to you and your family now and in the coming weeks. Love, Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilliBr1 Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 So very sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pammie Posted February 13, 2006 Share Posted February 13, 2006 So very sad with you Pam and your family. Very thankful Joel is not suffering anymore. Will be keeping all of you in our prayers for peace from God. pammie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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