NavyDave Posted February 16, 2006 Share Posted February 16, 2006 Hey guys, I havent posted in a while... things have been rough of late. I havent left my moms side in the past 9 days, but today has been the first. My mom Barbara passed Sunday at 1:15 PM after declining rapidly in the past week. She was able to go in her home the way she wanted it and for that i am thankful. I took a leave of absence from my job to be able to be with her for the past 3 weeks and I am so glad for that time I had. It wasnt enough, but then I dont feel there could have been enough time. She fought so hard, even at the end. The hospice people found her pain so hard to manage and it was so frustrating... thank god shes no longer in pain. The last 2 days were the hardest because her pain was so great that she had to finally go on intravenous meds for her pain and she asked to be sedated. Sedating her was so hard... seeing her that way. She passed with my brother and father at the head of her hospital bed (they brought one into the house near the end) clinging to her head and myself at her side holding her hand. She became to weak to cough up the fluid that was building up in her lungs and i had to watch for almost 18 hours as she slowly drowned... my heart breaks thinking about it. The supernatural smile she gave me as she took her last breath comforts me and makes me believe in things i was never certain of before. Knowing that I never left her side chapsticking her lips wetting her mouth and rubbing her hand and arms consoles me... I know I did all I could. I couldnt even finish this... its been sitting on my desktop since monday afternoon. I still feel as empty as i did 3 and a half days ago, but there seems to be more closure now. The funeral is over but Ill never forget anything about her... she was the kindest most selfless person to ever live. I try to think of happier things now. She was born in the blizzard of '47 and went to claim her rightful place in heaven during the heart of the blizzard that just hit. It was poetic. Her funeral was on Valentine's day... so fitting for such an unendingly loving woman... Thank you all for being there during these difficult times =) ~Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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