Patkid Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Just want to post this note to remind you that I hold each of you and each of yours in faithful prayer every single day. I remain grateful for all the comfort and support Brian and I found here. I can not say that I am doing well or even okay right now, but I can say that I am trying. I miss Brian till I can not breathe. I feel completely at odds w/ any rythm in the universe. I just feel off balance, out of step and lost. I am back in my office rather than working from home. I thought that would help. ~ Not so much ~. Our company is for sale so there is much drama and angst ~ I try to stay engaged, but I really can't seeem to care................ I trust that God will lead me through this and that He will give me direction. It is just hard to wait. Anyway. I love you all and am grateful for you and care deeply about your welfare. Pat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 I think that going to work is a good decision. It helps to be somewhere where you can put your grief aside at least for a little bit. When my sister passed away, the only thing that got my mother through it was having a place to go during the day where she had to function. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 I cannot even begin to imagine your pain. We are here to listen. One day at a time, and if that seems like too much go one hour, or even the next moment. There are times when my little brain cannot take in more then the very next thing I have to do. gail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadstimeon Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 No words--just prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Pat,I'm sure working in the office and staying as busy with things as you can will be of some help.It will take a long while I feel to come to peace with things. Keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 ((((Pat)))), I SO hear you about being adrift and not being able to breathe. I feel I would be not breathing as well, if something happened to Fred. I also would miss hiim 'like fire'. I can only imagine feeling so lost and almost unable to put one foot in front of the other, OR go from one hour to the next. Fred and I think of you every day. We pray for strength for you. We pray for some peace to come into your heart. We pray there are people around you who will love you up until you feel smothered by it. We pray you feel your Brian's presence in your daily routine. Our prayers are boundless for you, dear Pat. We will now pray that you can continue 'trying' until you can tell us you are doing okay....then maybe even that you are doing well. My favorite pic of Brian was the one where he was feeding his squirrels. I felt that portrayed such a gentle spirit. I cannot imagine having that absent now. And I am so sorry. Please continue to come here, Pat. That is unless right now you find this a difficult place to be. In that case, then please do what needs to be at this time. I am sure that I speak for many when I say that we, too, are holding you in our thoughts and wishing you the very best that life can offer you under such circumstances. I come to love people here on the board, as silly as that may sound to some, and I do have much love for you, Pat. I am hoping God swoops you up in his arms and rocks you in His comfort. Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daggiesmom Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 ((())) Joanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geri Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 You're in my thoughts. Geri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patty Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 so very sorry for you, I can only imagine how awful this is for you. I can relate to many of the feeling you are having though. Give yourself whatever you need to do, especially a lot more time to heal from this. January was just last month, pretty much just yesterday that you lost your very precious Brian. Lots of thoughts & prayers & comforting wishes sent to you, Patty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilliBr1 Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 I've been thinking of you and you are in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 I just want to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Pat, I will write the words of 'Grace Noll Crowell' hope they may help you. Prayer For Inner Stregth I know somehow that time will heal this sorrow, This bitter grief, and that the years will bring Forgetfulness and peace, that some tomorrow Will hold no memory of my suffering. And I believe that there will be a blurring Of the jagged edges of the wounds I bear, And in my heart again will be the stirring Of laughter that has long been absent there. I know all this, yet still cannot remember; I cannot see beyond this wall of tears. Yet as the falling ashes cool an ember, So will my heart find comfort through the years. I know--but God, dear God, my need is great! give me the inner strength this day to wait. xo Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 ((Pat)) Cindi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBeth Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 You know where/how to reach me; I'm here for you ANYTIME. My prayers will be with you, I have nothing more than that and my friendship to offer. Much love to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 My dearest Pat & Beth, My heart aches for you both. And everyone who has lost their soul mate. Please now how deeply I hold you both in my heart of hearts, and I pray everyday for G-d to give you the strength you both need to carry on. Take some comfort in knowing that Brian and Bill are only a breath away and they want you so much to know that. Also they worry about you...they will stay by your side until you are able to stand alone. I pray for you both like Kasey said to have your love ones smother you with love. May peace be with you and find a place in your heart. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 My heart goes out to you Pat. I miss my husband so much and I know what a terrible struggle it is to carry on. I thought, and still think sometimes, that I would never get through it, however I am slowly making progress. I found that the best thing to do is to let one's emotions out. If you want to cry, cry, if you want to spend the morning in bed, do so. Every time you let yourself "go through" the grief, you come out stronger on the other side. I am not saying there won't be setbacks and sometimes it's like going back to square one, but eventually things will start to get better. Love and Prayers, Paddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 (((Pat))), I so much want to be able to say or do something that will take away all that pain. Know that I am praying for you. Know that you have many many friends here. We love you and will never forget you. God be with you Pat. I pray things will work out with your job as well. That must be very frightening. Love, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Pat, these first few months are difficult, the next few months are a little teeny less difficult and so on. Not easy, but easier. I try to stay busy, busy, busy. I went back to work a day after Earl's memorial, I needed to do that. I also try and concentrate on the happiness we had and how lucky I was to have married the man of my dreams. It was 1 1/2 years on Sat. My heart still feels broken but I have a happy and fulfilled life, it just has a big empty space. Stay the course, dear Pat. Take each day, on day at a time. Come to us as you need us, we are here for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 ...and even so, you continue to come here, and post words of encouragment for many of us. You truly are an amazing person, Pat. I think of you and pray for you often. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 I think you're doing amazing. and I also believe that working out of the house is a good idea - not a cure-all, but a good idea. thank you so much for remembering us amid your struggle. you're one of my heros. xoxo amie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melindasue37 Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Pat, One foot in front of the other, one day at a time. You are trying.....that is all that anyone could ask or expect from you at this time. I found a website that has a daily online devotions. It's called griefshare.org. A season of grief. If you get a chance, you might find a little more comfort in the words. Please remember, as always, we care and are praying for you. Warm Hugs, Melinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 Dear Pat, There just aren't any words that will make this part of the journey softer for you. When we are all going through the caregivers rolls of taking care of our loved ones, our lives are so busy and so hectic, and so intense. That part of the journey keeps us going up and down and up and down and in and out and over and under. And then we lose our loved one and everything stops! We look around and it's silent and lonely and we're oh so lost. I know you get great comfort in knowing Brian is in a better place, but even knowing that, we long to hold them one more time in our arms. They will forever be in our broken hearts. Oh how many times I have said, I wish I could hold them or see them ONE MORE TIME! (((((((((((((((((((PAT))))))))))))))))))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Pat my heart goes out to you in your troubled moment's. I pray that out Lord will heal your hurt and let you live in peace.......Larry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted February 21, 2006 Share Posted February 21, 2006 Pat, I would love to say you're a hero because you are inspirational, but we tend to put heroes on a pedestal and well above the rest of us. I don't think you want to be removed from the masses, so let's just call you an angel among us, right now, an angel with a broken wing who cannot fly. As such, you continue to share your love and heart with us, broken as it may be. Thank you, Pat, for being here. Never feel guilty if you need to lean, support works both ways. Life is all about give and take, be SURE you take when you need it, you give so much. Hugs to you, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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