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I found one of Fay's first posts


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I hope no one minds, but I have been sitting here and thinking of her and went searching for her posts. What I found may have been one of her very first

PostPosted: Sat May 17, 2003 8:55 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

I respect a person's right to make choices about how they live, whether it's early days or the end of their days, as long as they are making choices and decisions about THEIR life.

I get to choose how I live my life, and I get to choose how I face it's end. And I am astounded that anyone would imply that the way they think I should live out my life is some how superior.

I don't want to live out my life with dignity. That's the ideal for dignified folks. Surprised) I want to live my last days exactly as I have lived the preceding days... with love and passion and laughter...lots of laughter. And joy...don't forget about pure, joy.

Tonight I am living what may be my second-to-the-last night on this earth. On Monday morning I will have my third big lung cancer surgery (pneumonectomy). Because of the previous three surgeries the operation carries more risk this time. So I'm going in to this knowing that May 19th may be the day I die. I don't want to die. I'm going to be really ticked off it that happens. ;o) But what I'm NOT going to feel is ashamed that I wanted to live so badly that I was willing to risk life itself for the best chance to prolong my life.

When I do die...whether it's on Monday, or next week, or next year I'm not going to look at it as having failed in my fight against this disease. I'm going to look at it as MY final and absolute victory over Lung Cancer. When I'm gone.. the cancer dies, too. I've said before that I am not afraid of death. I'm not. I see it as the next great adventure... it's just not one I want to start quite yet.

For those who are frightened, I wish you free of fear.

For those who are in pain, I wish release.

For those who are lonely, I wish a loved one to be near,

For those who are tired, I wish you sleep.

For those who want to live, I wish you years to come.

For all of those who fight, I wish you peace.

Good Night, Dear Ones. I leave for the hospital tomorrow afternoon. If all goes well, I'll be back in a few weeks.

Fay A.


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I am so glad you posted this and so glad I found the post....

Those words she spoke back then... never ever changed or wavered. She showed us that in the years we knew her.... She went out on her own terms... and as she said... she did beat the beast in the end....

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