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hollyanne

Embracing the Grief

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Hi everyone -

I have been off the board for a while, just trying to deal with everything not LC related. Caroline (who is now 10 weeks old!) and I drove from Utah back to San Francisco with Debbie (who was my mom's hospice nurse.) It was so hard leaving my dad but I am glad I did....I stayed in CA for 11 days and am back in Utah for a bit with my dad.

Being away from my mom's house...and alone with the baby in my house in SF...the grief really set-in. For moments during the day, I found it hard to breathe...I miss my mom so terribly. Yet, I know I HAVE to feel this.

I can't believe that my mom died two months ago. It seems like just yesterday that I was crying hysterically and asking all of you for advice as to where I should have this baby, what I could do to help my mom's pain, etc. I am so saddened that so many of the people who gave me such helpful support are gone from the board (Fay, Leslie) and so many have suffered the loss of their loved ones.

I pray everyday for everyone affected by this terrible disease....for those who are going through treatment and for those who are losing loved ones. I have realized that you have to embrace the grief the same way you embrace life...you have to feel your way through it.

My love to all of you...and I AM BACK. :)

Love,

Holly

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Hi there!! So glad to see you are back home. Things will slowly start falling back in place for you, all sorts of new things with the baby will help you thru these days ahead.

Please keep in touch

kim

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Welcome Back Holly,

Praying that time will ease the pain of your loss.

I can't stand the thought of never seeing my Dad again on this earth so I could relate to how your feeling it just STINKS :x:x .. But I think of my Dad and if he every thought for one minute that I was sitting around feeling sorry for myself he would be so mad..

((()))Michele

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Holly,

I am so glad to see an update from you, but I wish it wasn't under these circumstances. I think you are right. It is hard to grieve when you have a baby. You have to be so mentally alert and hardly have time to just sit down and cry, at least that was the way it was for me with my hubby. I am glad that you are back at home.

How is your dad doing?

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Holly,

You are absolutely right, I believe, to get through it you must "feel" it; over and over again. With each acknowledgement of a feeling, the next will almost always be less intense. I cannot imagine the high happys and the low sads that have you by the nuts...'er, I mean, ovaries.

love and eggmc smuffins to the Bug.

Cindi o'h

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Welcome back Holyanne! You are so right, you have to go through the grief, again and again, before you start to feel stronger. Babies are great healers, you are so lucky to have a little one!

Paddy

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Hi,

I feel your pain I am going through the same emotions. Saturday is two months for me. It seems like a very looong time. I am really sorry about your aunt. It is true when bad things starts happening they don't seem to stop. I lost my dog, my mother inlaw, and my mom in a year. I can't take it anymore. I hope I am done for a while.

Take care!

Martha

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The survivors are also here and we understand you hurt really. I know how it feels. I am starting to try to clean out the impersonal Items of Debs now. It still hurts every night. Will say prayers for all of you.

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