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just a minute to check in


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I thought I should take a moment to check in. I arrived safely Sunday afternoon and went straight to the funeral home. It was and is not easy. I have my own emotions to deal with but I have tried to put them on hold. My family comes first. You can't imagine how it breaks my heart to see the pain they are in especially my youngest son and one of my grandsons. They are all devistated and I just pray for strength to get them through for a while until it is no longer such a shock.

My nephews son made the trip with me. If not for him I'm not sure how I would have made it. Not just my fear of flying but the emotional support that I really needed and above all the way he helped my grandchildren.

I guess this will make you laugh at me. As nervous as I was I was the random search pick. The search of me wasn't bad but add the fact that my movie camera set off the alarm and tested for dynomite you can about imagine my condition :!: g

After wiping it down a few times it stopped setting off the alarms and I was allowed on the plane. I had a headache from lack of sleep and tention and not eating much for 3 days by then. The glass of wine my nephew ordered did help but after a rough landing in Baton Rouge I was once again reminded of why I ride the train.

I'm still not sure how long I will remain here. At least 3 weeks I'm sure but it can't be much longer. I have to find the strength to stick by my own wishes because they are all ready after me to move back here. I am just not ready for that yet. For now I just have to get through this and try to deal with all of my issues later. Believe me I can still use a lot of prayers.

We did all go to the parade that my daughter in law rode in the night after the funeral. Her float was dedicated to Denis for the ride. We all agreed that is what he would have wanted. We also went to the parade Mardi Gras day. The whold family needed the distraction but Mardi Gras being his favorite time of year I had little doubt that he was there. I could see him so clear in my mind that I found myself turning to look for him. We all have a long road ahead I am afraid.

I was so sorry to learn about Fay. My heart and prayers are with her friends and family. She will surely be missed.

As of Tuesday night the pastor's wife was still alive. She made it through surgery and was in intensive care. They removed a tumor the size of a watermellon and part of her stomache and intestines. I have been afraid to call again to check on her. I am just too raw right now.

As always you will all be in my prayers. God bless all of you and thank you for the support that you have all given me. I love all of you. Lillian

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