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bethluvswill13

Missing My Daddy

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I miss him so much! I feel so sad I can't see or touch him. I can't talk to him or even write him. He's gone and Im stuck here thinking about how much my life is different now. I can't believe I don't even know myself anymore. I use to think I was strong, but now I cry all the time. Im even afraid to see a doctor for help. My mom seems to think this is the answer. I think I'll feel this way forever. I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone or laugh or smile because Im miserable without my dad. My dad meant the world to me he was so brave and smart. He knew the answers to all my questions. He made me feel so important and I just wish I could tell him how much I think of him and miss him. I want my dad back, but I know he's not sick or in pain anymore nor would he want to come back from where he's at. I just got to find a way to make since of this loss and start to live again.

I don't know why Im posting this pathetic post, but for some reason Im feeling relieved now. I guess it feels better to get this out to someone. I don't talk to my mom because she'll worry about me and she's going through her own grief. My husband doesn't know where Im coming from, he's never lost someone close to him. My brothers are to manly to express their feelings. So, you guys are the only ones to tell.

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I am sorry you have to feel this way -- but I do know that sometimes just verbalizing the grief helps. As you know, I was closer to my mom than to anyone else, including my husband. Her illness was a shock and she was gone in 5 short months. I miss her every single day, but the things that make me feel better (maybe they will help you...)

- I know she is not in pain or suffering or sad anywhere!

- I believe that where she is is so much more glorious than earth, that at times I am jealous she is there.

- I know she is not somewhere missing out on my new baby, on the love of her friends, etc -- she knows.

- I know we did everything we could for her and that she knew how much she was loved

- I had the opportunity to tell her everything I wanted to...nothing was left unsaid

- I realize that I am not sad for her, but sad for me/my family as we miss her so terribly.

Yes, life does go on. I have learned that somedays are better than others -- today, she has been gone two months.

Please feel free to PM me as this loss is very fresh to me as well.

Love,

Holly

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I totally understand how you feel because I'm feeling the same way. My Dad has been gone 3-1/2mts, 2mts longer then your Dad and I still cry every day.

I was really close to my Dad too,If something came up during the day (good or bad) I would call my Dad before I would call anyone else. But it does get better trust me it will get better. I'm so sorry that your hurting so bad. Give yourself time it's still so new. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk to someone in the same boat. We could help each other. :cry::cry:

Michele

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I am so sorry... I wish I had words that would make it "okay", but I don't.... Daddy has been gone a little over a year and just this morning I broke down in my kitchen and could not control the tears... I just want him to walk through my door one more time, and the fact that it is not going to happen is just overwhelming to me. Time definetely does help though, the tears use to be daily, then weekly, now I go sometimes a whole month without crying... I never stop thinking of him though and although thinking of him hurts like crazy... I hope I think of him daily for the rest of my life. I, like you, can't share this immense grief with my Mom, because she has so much of her own grief to deal with. If you need to talk PM me, I will try my best to just be a shoulder to lean on.... Love, Sharon

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I too am feeling your pain. My dad has been gone such a short time and I just can't believe he is not here. I miss him so much and just keep picturing his beautiful smile and laugh. I don't know what to say to help, but just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you.

Take care,

Cathy

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I completely understand...and while you think you're sounding weak or "pathethic", it's just you missing someone you loved so greatly. It is the hardest thing you will ever go thru. There's no negociating, there's no solution, there is just nothing you can do about it...it's final...and just that realization is huge! OF COURSE you are in grief, of course you are angry and sad and hurt beyond belief! You are NOT pathetic.

Start slow, but try to find ways to be good to yourself. Your dad would have wanted you to. He would have wanted you to have a good life, and I know by reading your description of him that he must have known how much you loved him and how wonderful you thought he was....I'll bet the bank he felt the same way about YOU.

Talking helps alot. Keep posting, keep venting. We are all here for you.

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I Know how you feel and I think that only time...a lot of it , makes these losses more bearable. Not okay but better. My Mom passed in November and sometimes its like it just happened yesterday. Im sure our loved ones are doing much better then we who were left behind. They are happy and healthy and we are here missing them. Prayers for us all to be strong and go on.

Love,

Janet

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