jdjenkins Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 It was two months ago today that my Dad left this world. Two months ago I held him as he passed on. I can not believe how much I miss him. Everything I do or see reminds me of my Dad. I want so much to be able to touch him one more time. I want to hear his voice and see his smile. I know he is at peace now, but I'm not anywhere close to being at peace. My Mom is having such a hard time. They were together for 44 years and she is completely lost without him. I never realized how much she depended on him. He was the center of her life. I try to help by keeping her busy as much as I can, but when I can't be with her I feel so guilty. I can not stand the idea of her sitting home alone so very sad. We are planning a trip to Florida soon. We are going back to the place we stayed with my parents for so many years. We made so many wonderful memories there. My Mom is going with us. We will be in Florida on what would have been Dad's 70th birthday. I know it will be a very hard day for all of us. The kids will let balloons go from my Dad's favorite spot on the beach. It is so hard to believe he will not be with us on that beach. No one can ever be prepared for this kind of a loss. It is so much harder than I ever thought it would be. The pain seems to be getting worse the longer he is gone. I'm so tired of being sad and missing him. I'm so worried about my Mom and don't know what to do to help her. I don't know if I have the strength to help her. Life is so very very hard. Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Dear denise, My heart feels your pain, it will be 4 months this March 9th, that I lost my dear brother Mark.. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers..You are so right when you said "life is so very hard" God Bless You... Donna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 2 months on march 23rd since I lost Deb. I know how you feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patty Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 What a wonderful tribute your family is planning. My Dad passed away in 1995 and I still miss him so much. It doesn't hurt so bad most of the time and sometimes it feels like it was yesterday. Yes, life is awfully hard. You and your family will get through this, just like your Dad would have wanted you to and there is no doubt in my mind that you all made him a very happy man. Your grief proves that you loved and you loved well. Hope this gives you some comfort. Patty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Morning Denise! I just saw your post this morning. I had pm'd you last night to see how you were doing and now I see this. I voided that pm out of your mailbox, so if there is some confusion there, it is all my fault. Just to tell you that I had a hard time after my Dad died too. My eyes were as big as golf balls from crying so hard. I missed him so much and couldn't believe my big, strong, funny dad was gone! My father protector...no more. What amazes me is that my grief has changed flavors. I don't cry anymore about his death which was over ten years ago. Rather, whenever I think of him almost always it is with a smile. Every so often there will be a touch of melancholy, but it is short-lived. I never thought I could come to terms with his death. But, I have. I am saying this to let you know that although it doesn't feel like you may never get over this, you will. I swear it is part of God's mercy and grace that helps us through this. It has to be. We cannot do this on our own. You take care of yourself, Denise, and enjoy your time in Florida. I think it is great that your family will all be gathering there. Balloons are a good idea. Your Dad would've been honored. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michelepal Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Denise, I know exactly how you feel, My Dad will be gone 4mts on the 18th and we still are at such a loss. My Mom sounds alot like yours she is totally lost, between Me, My sister and My Aunt & Uncle we try to keep her busy but My Mom wants to be home she keeps telling us that she doesn't want to run around every night thats not want her and my Dad did. But I can't deal with her home at night by herself watching TV alone, it makes it so much harder not only are we devasted about my Dad we are worried about her. This May My Mom & Dad would have been married 45years. I'n not looking forward to that day! It's a new Life Take care Love Michele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollyanne Posted March 7, 2006 Share Posted March 7, 2006 Denise - I understand every word. It is two months ago today that my mom left this earth. She and my dad were married for 46 years. I miss her terribly every day as she was not only my mom, but my rock and my best friend in the world. Even though we lived in different states, I talked to her 7-8 times a day --and was with her 24x7 the last four months of her life. It hurts missing her, yet I know she is safe and happy! I hate watching my dad and find myself back in Utah with him today as I so desperately do not want him to be alone.... Denise, every person who has been through this says "time makes it somewhat better" - I have to say, I have felt that just recently. I pray you will start to feel a little better each week or month, rather than a little worse. Hang in there. I am sure you dad is very proud the way you are looking after your mom. Love, Holy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bethluvswill13 Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Denise, Im so sorry my heart is breaking for you. I feel lost myself and Im terribly sorry your feeling such pain. I'll be praying for you and I hope things get easier for you soon. Hugs,Beth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopeandstrength Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Denise, I feel your pain so much. It will be two weeks tomorrow for me and it is just so difficult. I too, worry about my mom. I think the trip will be nice for your family. We are planning to take my mom to Hawaii in October. It won't be the same without my father, but I think it will be nice. Hang in there my friend. As I've said before, your dad looks like such a nice man. love, Cathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdjenkins Posted March 8, 2006 Author Share Posted March 8, 2006 I thank you all for your kind words. It really does help to know that what I'm feeling is normal for someone dealing with a great loss. I'm very sad that so many of us are having to deal with these feelings. May God give us all strength. Denise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted March 8, 2006 Share Posted March 8, 2006 Denise, sorry to be late. It is so hard to find words that help, we all know that time may help, but not how long and what to do with that time. Your trip to Florida will be at a time that will be hard on all of you, but you will be together and the souivenirs of the happy times you had with your father may be the answer needed for your mother. Your Dad will surely be looking down on all of you and sending love to all. Hugs to all and have a good trip. Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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