LTich Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 I went to visit her this past weekend (March 3,4,5). She looked better than at Christmas but said she "felt worse than ever". Only 2 Chemo treatments left & they will do scans to see where we stand. We are, of course, very scared & hopeful. Mom is afraid for the Chemo to end but at the same time is looking forward to it. She doesn't know at this point if she will go through anymore treatments, if they are recommended. No matter what she decides, we will be there for her every step of the way. It took me almost a week to feel strong enough to come here & post this. I felt sick on the drive home & thought I had the flu. It wasn't the flu, it was reality kicking in I guess. Each time I say good-bye to her, it could be the last time. I guess that is true for everyone on this earth but, it seems so much more real when Cancer is involved. I am angry that she has to suffer like this and I am powerless to stop it. It's very hard not to be overcome by the overwhelming feeling that all of our lives are about to change for the worse. At the same, time feeling very blessed that we have been given this time together & the knowledge that life is so very precious. Despite the melancholy mood, hope is still alive. I hold onto it like a child with a security blanket. I know in my heart, that no matter what happens, I will always have my Mother safe in my heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadstimeon Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Lisa--Prayers all goes well for your mom and you. Rich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 My heart goes out to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debi Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Lisa, I am sorry that you don't live closer to your mother, and that you have to think like this after you visit her. My wishes that the chemo is working hard, and that her scans will be encouraging when its time for the tests. Keep holding on to hope and thank you again for all the time you put into the tribute website. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pammie Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Will be praying for all of you Lisa. Not easy things to think about for your mom or any of the family. pammie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michelepal Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 Lisa, I'll be praying for your Mom! Take care of yourself I know how overwhelming this is but you have to stay strong for your Mom.. (((hugs))) Michele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchi Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 Lisa, 1st off I am glad to hear your mom has responded to treatments so far. As for the feelings of saddness I know exactly how you feel. When I bought my husband's Valentines Day card this year I was crying so hard I almost could not make the purchase. I felt myself wondering if this would be the last time I bought a Valetines day card for Alan. We never give up hope, but sometimes the reality of the disease becomes so overwhelming the damn just breaks. After a good cry I usually feel better and get back to living in the moment. Many Many prayers coming to you and your mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy RN Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 I am glad the treatments are working. Tell your mom I understand the idea of treatments being over. While you are getting them, you feel like you are fighting the disease. When they are finished, what do you do to fight??? I had a hard time with that the first time. I had tears when I read your note and about dchurchi buying the Valentines card. I remember when my mom went thru all of this. Prayers said for your peace and for your moms recovery!! Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LTich Posted March 17, 2006 Author Share Posted March 17, 2006 Thanks everyone. It good to come here, knowing that everyone understands how hard this is. Still fighting this melancholy mood though. I have to force myself out of bed most days & my heart is my throat every time the phone rings. My own goofy health problems are not helping matters either. I seemed to have lost my thunder. If you see it please send it back my way! (sense of humor still in tact) Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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