SherA Posted March 15, 2006 Share Posted March 15, 2006 Hi, I'm new here, and this is my first post. I came across this site while searching for grief support groups, but I really wish I had found you guys sooner. Like when Rick was first diagnosed and I was so scared and had so many questions. But he's gone now, so shockingly fast. He went to the hospital with pneumonia on Feb 2, and he passed away on Feb 23. How my life changed in 3 short weeks! And he seemed fine until about a week before he went to the hospital. Then he was diagnosed with stage IV adenocarcinoma with mets to liver, and within 2 weeks he was gone. I know it was better for him that he didn't have to suffer for a long time, but it's been very hard for me to deal with. I was still so upset about the diagnosis, and trying to deal with that and care for him, and then when he died it started all over again, but even worse. I'm afraid I'm not handling this very well, and feel as if I'm dying, too. I'm having trouble sleeping and I forget to eat and I cry all the time. In fact, I think it's a good day if I only cry 2-3 times! Sometimes I feel so much pain in my heart that I feel like I can't breathe. I just don't know how I will ever get used to him being gone. It's only been 20 days since he passed away, and he was buried on 3/6, but I wonder if it's normal for me to be feeling like this or if something is wrong with me (like losing my mind or something?) I really don't feel like I'm the same person anymore, and I wonder if I ever will be again. And I wonder how long I can hurt this much, and how other people go on when facing a terrible loss. But every day when I get up in the morning, I look for a reason, and so far, every day I've found one. Thank you for listening, Sher Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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