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Got Debs records from the hospital today and read them. She was a lot worse than we thought or were told but I think it was better that way. Maybe I am wrong in thinking that 10Cm x 10 cm mass in left lung with tumours all over and including Meastases to the spinal column. 1 tumour was pressing on the jugular vein. I had no idea it was that bad. always ask questions about tests and spreading. Been crying and drinking on and off all evening after getting home from cemetary. Ha dto go and talk face to grave site about this. Took a dozen roses just because I miss her and love her so much. Down in the Dump tonite pretty much but sober right now. Only 2 beers this afternoon. got to see if Kelly Pickler survives American Idol. 1 hour down the highway south of here. Daughtry is 20 minutes west of me. Nite nite all Much love and Thanks for listening.Saying Prayers after Idol.

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So sorry you hurt that much,

now don't read the medical file anymore,

I did that till I got down so fast just

to start again when I was better to end up

with IF? IF? IF? that did not help.

Hope you feel better and tell us about it.

Take care your troubles don't start swimming

instead of drowning.



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