TomR4th Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Hello, I am Tom of Bedminster, NJ..I stopped smoking over 12 years ago..In addition, I served aboard an aircraft carrier in the 1960's & slept directly under an asbestos covered vent under the forward catapults for several years.. I recently went in for a routine checkup & mentioned a persistent dry cough..They sent me for a CT scan which revealed 2 masses in my left lung..I had a Petscan which indicated that these masses had "lit up"..Needless to say I'm shocked, depressed & angry & afraid..In addition I underwent a cardiac bypass operation 2 years ago which was not 100% successful..At this point I would be grateful for any help & support available..How do you talk to grandchildren, etc.. I called & spoke to Rick & Katie for a few moments & they are truly wonderful & caring people..I would love to communicate with you are going challenges..I would be grateful if there are people in my geographic area who can provide information on medical facilities & staff, etc. Sincerely, Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Tom, welcome to our wonderful site. I am sure that you are in a state of shock right now, but as Becky says, breathe, breathe, breathe. You are well located to get great care. You are within driving distance of many, many very good cancer centers. Much success on your journey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myrnalu Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I dont know the facilities in new jersey but your primary dr should be able to help you with that.Then they must set you up with a treatment plan,there are alot of options depending on the stage and size of the tumors.you will find alot of support here.i did,i dont know what id do without this site. we are all here for you Marie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Tom, welcome to our site. Glad you found us. Keep us posted on your progress and let us know how we may support you. I am a mended heart patient myself, having had quad bypass over 8 years ago. Had a stint put in last year. Doing alright, and hope yours straightens out for you. My wife has Stage IV NSCLC and is a 3 1/2 year survivor so far. So hang in there. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
palves Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Tom - I live in Central NJ as well. (You didn't/don't happen to work for Lucent or AT&T did you?). Anyhow, my dad also lives in NJ and is the one with LC. He has had treatment at Robert Wood Johnson in New Brunswick. If you want to PM me I will give you the names of the Drs he has seen. He started treatment at RWJ in Hamilton and then when his general Onc left we started to see the one in New Brunswick. We also have visited Sloan. I know a lot of people go there as well as they have aggressive treatments from what I've heard (we had seen a general onc as well as a surgical one). Anyway, I'd be glad to talk with you via email or even phone, just mail me at palves@optonline.net. Paula Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadstimeon Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Welcome Tom, Glad you found us. Stay with us and keep us posted. Lots of hope here. Rich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Tom, Welcome. The journey sucks, but the traveling companions are top rate. Let's see, a cancer diagnosis - it's like being kicked in the gut by a mule....repeatedly....and in the head when you bend from the gut kick... ...and you learn that the real important things in life are small - like breathing. So, when it's overwhelming and that band that surrounds your heart continues to tighten, take a break and breathe. Slow, deep, and long inhale through the nose, hold it and let it out of the mouth slowly. Repeat. Do it again. Again. One more time. Calmed some? Let the tears fall if they begin to well up. It's okay to be scared, it's a big bad ugly you are dealing with. Your body has become a traitor and has set up its version of a toxic waste dump. Nice... Questions? Ask away, you'll get answers from those who have been there and done that - and support from all corners. It's easier with the help of friends, people to lean on when it's overwhelming and you feel like giving up. Keep stepping, one small step at a time and lean on your friends when you need to. We're all in this together. Welcome to the family, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Hi Tom: welcome to this board. I see you have had all the ususal emotions that one has when finding out about a cancer. These days, lc if more treatable than just 5 years ago. If the cancer has not yet left your lung, it may be operable. Of course, you have a problem with your heart. If you are not a candidate for surgery, you can get it zapped with cyberknife surgery depending on the size. Let us know more about the size, location and staging and we can offer suggestions or experiences we have had in situations that would be similar to yours. You might want to ask for brain mri. I read an account from a medical professional who says that since people are beginning to survive lung cancer for longr periods of time, scanning and monitoring for brain mets is more important than it used to be. It used to be that people would be dead before brain mets became a problem. Brain mets can be managed better if they are caught early. When I found out I had cancer, I just blabbed the news to whoever would listen. Once you find out more about your situation and the oncologist comes up with a treatment plan you will settle down into a routine and your life will resume a more everyday rhythm. Hopefully it is early stage and you have a shot at a cure. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Welcome...I am glad you found us. We have many members in your area that can help with cancer centers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Tom,welcome to our support family.You're right this is scary and tough but once you have gotten into the fight it seems easier than it does in the beginning. I told my wife and children at diagnosis and my children handled the telling of our grandchildren. I am very fortunate as I have a very supportive family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Hello Tom and Welcome, Sorry that you have to be here, but happy that you have found a very caring and supportive place to be. When you logged into this site, I logged you into my prayers. Prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jorja Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Welcome Tom, I am sorry about your diagnosis. It sucks. You will find a lot of great people here to help you with any questions. I also wanted to tell you that you have a beautiful family (I assume that is you in the picture?) love, jorja Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blaze100 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Hi Tom, You're not alone. We are all here to help you through. This is a good time to ask family doc for anxiety meds, such as xanex and sleep aids. They will be running a bunch of tests and scheduling appointments to determine the next course of treatment. You just have to wait it out--and it's tough, we all know. I wish you the best of luck Tom, and I'm happy to see you are getting to know your way around our site. Love and mercy, Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna G Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Hi Tom, welcome aboard. Glad you found us. Somehow I missed living in New Jersey, I married a sailor and we moved a lot. He "built" and is a plank owner of 2 ships, The Jesse L. Brown and the Virginia. I understand they used a lot of aspestos in the ship yards and I did his laundry! I also remember ship stores, a carton for $1. We are so fortunate that Katie and Rick started this board. This is a great site. We all want to help each other. I will be looking for your plan. Have you had all the other tests we all seem to get? Bone Scan, Brain Scan, Pulmonary function tests etc? How did they come out. How big are the tumors? There is a Doctor here at the University of Minnesota that does VAT surgery , can even take out a whole lung through small incision , much less pain, much less to heal. Well let us know, keep us posted. Donna G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall54 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Welcome Tom, You have found the best web site on the net for support and a sense of a 2nd family. I am praying you find the best care out there and on you're journey you hang out with this great group of friends we have here that we call family. God Bless you, Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SSF Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I'm sorry you have to be here, but welcome. I can't answer any of your questions, but know that the group of people here are here for you - to support you, to pray for you and to help guide you when possible. You'd couldn't ask for a better team when going through this. Sandra Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikkala Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Hi Tom and welcome. I just wanted to say I clicked on the link below your name and saw the most beautiful family. WOW are you lucky to have such a great family. As the family member of LC patients I would say just be honest. It was always harder for me when my family members tried to hide stuff from me. As for the young kids, I always tried to just tell mine the truth but in a childs point of view and sometimes getting a book from the library can help. I know we have many books about children dealing with a cancer diagnosis in the family. You will find so much love and support here as well and can invite your children to come here also if you wish. Sending big hugs and many prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daggiesmom Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 I just wanted to welcome you to the site. There are many, many wonderful people here who are full of information and hope. Many of us are four and five years out from diagnosis and still going strong. I will be 4 years in April, so see, it can be done. Please let us know how you're doing. Joanie ((())) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joanie55 Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Hi Tom, Welcome to the site and have to say, you do have a beautiful family. I know how hard the initial diagnosis is, having gone through it only last year. Having a supportive family will make things a lot easier for you. This is not a time to panic, as there are lots that can be done now, even for the furthest along. I am a New York Sloan Kettering patient. I wouldn't say they are aggressive, but would definitely say they are cutting edge. They totally know anything and everything that is new and I've been extremely happy with my treatment. If I can be of any help at all, either with questions or doctors, please pm me. Wishing you and your family the best. Joan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michelepal Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Tom, Welcome! I'm truly sorry you have to be here but you will find tons of support here. As for your grandchildren I would be honest with them. When my family was dealing with LC I felt I shouldn't tell my kids to much, and they would always over hear us talking and that was 10 time worse for them. My kids were OK if I was OK, if I was really upset so were they.. I will keep you in my prayers.. (((HUGS))) Michele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lindseysmom Posted March 17, 2006 Share Posted March 17, 2006 Hi Tom and welcome. You have found a wonderful site. There are many caring and knowledgeable people here. Best Wishs, Dee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jang Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Welcome Tom, I'm glad you found us. I don't know how far you are from Sloan Kettering, but my ex-husband was treated there many years ago and they were fantastic. As far as telling the family, I agree with everyone else, just be honest. The hardest thing for me was telling my 10 year old daughter. She had just watched my cousin die of SCLC two years before. So, when she heard the words "lung cancer" she thought it meant death. I told her that I had a different kind of LC than my cousin, and that I had caught mine very early. She seemed to accept that fine. Then one day she came in my office and saw a book about lung cancer on my desk, and she said "Aw Mom, you don't even have it that bad". I had to laugh. I guess my stategy worked! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Hi Tom and WELCOME! I don't have much to add to the others wonderful posts here. I'm glad you found us - you'll be glad you did. Just about everything you need is right here - information, caring, loving, support and even a lot of laughs. You might not be laughing much right now, but stick around, this a crazy and fun bunch of folks. God bless you, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieD Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Hi Tom, Welcome to our site. Sorry you have a need to be here but glad you found us. Probably the most important thing to begin your journey is to get the opinions and an evaluation from the experts at one of the Cancer Institutes in your area. Looks like you would have reasonable access to two of them, Memorial Sloan Kettering in New York or Fox Chase in Philadelphia. I feel it would be worth the effort and they make it very easy and will get you in without delay. I personally went that way at Roswell Park Cancer Institute in Buffalo NY and am sure thankful I did. I am a 2 year survivor of Stage 4 Lung Cancer and am still doing well. You can always get your treatment closer to home if that is a problem, but the original evaluation is the important thing rather than doing a trial and error type thing. Good luck with it Tom and keep us advised of your progress. Hang tough and God Bless. CharlieD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick Posted March 18, 2006 Share Posted March 18, 2006 Welcome Tom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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