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Thanks for giving me the courage!!!

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I have to share my good news. SF called me this morning and said he had some ideas. I asked him to shoot. Well, apparently after I had a conversation with my brother this week about how we can do this the easy way and work together or the hard way and tear our family apart (by me getting the medical POA), SF has reconsidered mom leaving that damn nursing home.

I am just overwhelmed with joy right now. John and I put a bid on a house this weekend that has a first floor full bath (for MIL) and don't ya know that will work just great for mom too. SF said he was willing to let mom decide how she lives her life, but he just wants to make sure it is safe and doable. I agree wholeheartedly. I am just glad that I can go to mom today and say "Mom, we love you so much that we are ALL willing to pull out all the stops to have you live her life the way you want.

Every one of you has given me the courage to continue to advocate for my mom, whether it be with the medical community or my own family. You have given me the strength to continue to do what's right for mom. I love you all.

If she takes up our offer, maybe it will be the hardest thing we have ever tried to do, but it is a very welcome challenge. I will update you later with what she has to say.


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It is so nice to read this post!!!

You deserve to get a call like that from your stepdad. YOU are only trying to do what you think is best for your Mom. What a great daughter you are.

I'm praying that everything will begin to fall into place for you and your family and that your Mom will know today, after you talk to her, that things clearly ARE looking up.

Congrats to you. What a huge relief huh?!!!

Warm Hugs,


PS. Good luck on your new home bid! It sounds perfect. :D

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Hi Lori,

You post made me smile. I am overwhelmed that your SF finally saw the light and will not cause trouble.

You will have a heavy load to carry, but you can do it as you are determined too.

Let us know what your mom says.

Of course we are here for you as you are always here for us.

Thinking or you today, good luck, can't wait to hear you moms reaction

Thank G-d she will be leaving that nursing home!

G-d bless you for having the strength to take care of both mothers. You are an exceptional young lady.

Maryanne :wink:

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Lori, this is such great news. It sounds like you have some good plans for your mom, and that your family will work together to make it work.

You are a terrific daughter - you have the strength and courage in you - we are just here for support.

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Awesome news Lori! You really are an inspiration to all of us "up and coming" new caregivers -- I think of you often when I'm not sure how I am gonna' get things done for my mom; your role modelling keeps me going and has "the feathers flying" again in my neck of the woods too as of yesterday ....whatever it takes to make things possible is all that matters!

Linda :wink:

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Indeed great news Lori! While SF is feeling like he "wants to help" and "do the right thing" I would also approach him with the idea of POA, just in case he has a "change of heart" about what he thinks is best for your mom. Hopefully he is seeing that you have everyones best interest at heart and intend to do what is necessary to allow your mom to live her life to the fullest.

Praying that this is a trend that continues for your family!!


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Damn damn damn.

SF and brother came to the nursing home tonight after I had visited with mom and told her the good news. When mom asked why the change of heart, he got on the defensive. He mentioned every single drawback and asked if he and my brother should rent an apartment near our new house.

What the hell???

They left and mom was sooooooooooooooo sad, depressed, just wanted to sleep. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that he did not say anything like what I had told her and that she thinks he should be more concerned about getting an apartment for her and him, not my brother..

I'll just keep plugging away I guess. DAMN.

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Dear Lori,

she thinks he should be more concerned about getting an apartment for her and him

All of this has got to be so hard for you mom. I'm sure at one time she was madly in love with your SF, and she probably still has a soft spot in her heart for him and hopes that things could maybe still be different. She must be feeling very sad that he doesn't offer to take care of her himself and that he is being so difficult. She must feel so torn apart.

I think more than anything I wish I could give your mom a big hug right now.

I'm not trying to take anything away from you, honey. I know this has been a nightmare for you, too, that you are your mom's best friend right now, best advocate, and the best caregiver ever. I guess I just felt the broken hearted love of a wife in need of love from her husband in those words.

Please give your mom a special hug from me. I'm sending a big one for you, too!



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