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I miss my mom so much!


Martha02

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I know we are all in pain here, but I also know that you are the only ones that can understand my pain. It's being at little over 2 months that she died but it feels like much longer. I miss her calling me for every little thing, I miss her telling me what to feed my kids, I miss her positive attitude about everything, I just miss everything, it's not fair. I keep asking why this disease has being created.

Sometimes I am so in shock that she is gone. I really hope she is " in a better place, pain free". I almost hate when people tells me that. What was wrong with being here with the ones she loved the most. I am sorry. I am just venting. I think I am going to the angry stage.

Again, I know you understand!!!!!!

Martha

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Martha,

I hear you! I miss my Dad so much I can't stand it.

When I think of never seeing him again I want to scream,I can't live the rest of my life without him. :cry::( I know I have to get up ever day and get the kids off to school and then go to work but nothing seems to matter,I'm just going through the motions. My friends call me and want me to go out with them but I just can't I feel like how could you except me to go out and have a good time MY FATHER DIED. Sorry I didn't mean to make your post about me!

Hang in there what other choice do we have.

((((HUGS)))

Love, Michele

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It's understandable to feel the way you do. I can't speak for everyone, but I felt just like this--still do at times.

It's not fair. It sucks. Lung Cancer is a dreadful disease and it destroys so many dreams and lives and futures.

All of this is so new for you right now. Your wounds are fresh and feeling the way you do is normal.

I don't have any magic words and I can't tell you how to deal with your grief because everyone is different. It's been over 2 1/2 years for me and I think I am still grieving sometimes, still angry at other times, resigned alot of the times and in denial here and there too.

For me, being angry helped alot. Then I just kept busy until I couldn't see straight...I still do that too.

I try not to ask too many "WHY" questions anymore, because I won't know that answer until my time on this earth is over, and even then I may not know "WHY".

I focus now on the memories we did have and make, and I just remind myself that my dad is still with me, in my heart, in my mind and in my son's smile. I try to focus on the good memories and even now have a few very bad days- but I am relieved to have many more good ones.

It's a different life than what we were used to, but we put one foot in front of the other because there is no other choice, one day you will smile, there will be a moment when something or someone makes you laugh...one day turns into the next and you are still putting one foot in front of the other....before you know it there is joy in part of your day or life again...and then before you know it, you have gotten used to this new normal...because you have no other choice....

You honor your mom everyday in your memory of her, and in how you choose to live your life...she will always be a part of you....and she would want you to be happy...and eventually, you will be there again.

For now, be angry. Vent away..and post here, because we do understand and we want to be here for you.

I'm sending you a big ((Hug)) PM me if you want to chat or need a shoulder.

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I find That if you close your eyes at the end of the day when everything is quiet in the house and listen in your mind you can hear that person you miss talking to you. Try it sometime. Love and prayers. Lost Deb 2 months ago today.

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Martha -

I think there will always be days like that. I lost Keith back in November. Sometimes it seems a lifetime ago, and othertimes it seems like just yesterday.

Grief takes so many different turns and twists. The best thing to do is not to hold it all in. Venting, crying etc. is all OK. We have to remember that it's OK. I know others expect us to pick up and get on with our lives - but grief has no timeline to follow and we each deal with it in our own ways. Don't let anyone rush you or tell you how to react. Just take each day as it comes, and one step at a time you will find your way through it. There will always be days when you need to sit back and grieve whats lost - but those days will get fewer and further between. I am still finding my way through it - but with a group like this to turn to, you will always find a friend to help you through those tough days.

((((((((((((((( gentle hugs )))))))))))))))))))

Melanie

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Oh Martha, I completely understand. Just take each day as it comes. I miss my mom so terribly -- yet I remind myself that I am crying because I miss her - I am not crying for her as I truly believe she is completely free of pain and in a glorious place. I mourn for my dad and for all of my mom's great friends and for the fact that my baby will never know her ---- but at the same time I am so thankful that I had such an amazing relationship with such an amazing women. There are so many "girls" out there who are not blessed the way we have been in having such a stromg and powerful relationship.

Hang in there...

Holly

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Dear Martha,

I cannot begin to tell you how much I can relate to everything you are feeling. I lost my Dad over 6 months ago and I miss him so much that I want to scream. I want to go back to my old life so much, but I know that can't happen. I read KatieB's response and everything she said is so true. Life does go on, others need you, you get used to a "new normal".

Take care,

Jackie

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