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mom dx & refusing tx


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My mom has been diagnosed with lung cancer and she doesn't want treatment.

We just lost my dad 6/05 to lung cancer. He had no symptoms except breathing difficulty after heavy labor. After the biopsy, however, breathing got bad, chemo. helped him die more quickly (3 months total). Hospice involved --terrible memories.

Now, my mom is healthy, no symptoms except recurrent bronchitis. She is not willing to even do biopsy. She has multiple nodules in both lungs as revealed by a x-ray, CT and PET/CT scan. So worried but I kind of see her point. Doesn't want to be sick, just die quickly. Her 66 yrs, dad was 69, me 38, single with 2 children, 18 month twins. I am so sick over this.

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As Frank said, it is very hard to respect your Mom's wishes, but they are her decisions to make. I cannot imagine the fear and panic you must be feeling at learning of your mother's diagnosis so soon after loosing your father. Whatever she decides, I'll be thinking of you and hoping you find strength to support her. I lost my husband in December, and many many days and nights I prayed that God would make it my destiny to be with Bill sooner rather than later. I can certainly understand the many factors that may be weighing her decisions.

Much love,

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  • 2 weeks later...

Perhaps is just so sad without your dad that she just wants to be with him and is refusing treatment.

I really pray that she changes her mind and fights as her LC may not have been as advanced at his and more treatable.

I am sorry for all you are going through. This burden is much too much.

You have to respect what you mom wants but I just hope she changes her mind. She still might have quite a few years left.


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  • 2 months later...

I understand what you are going through. My mother-in-law was "diagnosed" recently through X-rays, CT scans and from her symptoms, but she is refusing a biopsy. She thinks that as long as it isn't an official diagnoses (her doctor has said that they can not be 100% sure without the biopsy) that she doesn't have the disease. She has been put on a number of medications, but she is now blaming the drugs for how she feels instead of accepting that it is the progression of disease. My husband is beside himself with worry. He doesn’t know if he should push her to accept what is happening or support her in her decision to "not know".

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I am so sorry you are going through this..again. Do you know what the stage is? Of course, you have to respect her wishes, yet I just hope she is making decisions with full information. As Maryanne said, she may be not nearly as far as long as your dad.

Holding you in my prayers tonight,


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have you looked into the thread the path less travelled and alternative medicines? They may help with info on dealing with this situation. oops we are already here sorry my mistake read from unread and not the path less travelled. It is moms decision and I am sure she has her reasons. If she choses this route I pray you cherish each and every day together with mom and just love and enjoy being with her.

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