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Home from Caribbean, Bill's at peace


SBeth

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I travelled down to the Caribbean last week to scatter Bill's ashes. Things didn't go at all as planned, though it was a good trip. My two sisters, my cousin, my best friend and Bill's daughter all went with. I did a cruise and our port in Port Aventuras, Mexico was where I had chartered the boat, The Wild Bill, for the scattering. Unfortunately, due to a medical emergency on the ship, we were forced to turn around and head back to the states and as a result we ported in Nassau instead. It's strange because Bill loved to book himself on a live-aboard sailboat and dive the Bahammas and surrounding area when he went on his dive-trips without me, but if we did a land based trip together, we went to the Yucatan area for his dives. I couldn't decide which place to scatter and so when I discovered The Wild Bill I thought it was a sign from Bill that that is where he wanted to be...and maybe it was. When we left Port of Miami on Thursday afternoon it was a rainy and dreary day and most of the passengers were below deck, but I opted to stand up on the back of the ship in the sprinkling rain and as I was standing there watching all the seagulls grabbing fish in the wake of the ship and swarming around I was asking Bill to tell me if this isn't what he wanted. Just at that moment a bird dropped a small fish on the deck near me. It was funny and I found myself saying to him, "Okay, if that was my sign, send me another sign to let me know that was my sign". Anyway, the next day the accident happened on board and it was out of my hands anyway. We ported in Nassau and I found a pretty cove and paid a fisherman to take us out for the private scattering and it was over before I could even allow myself to get upset. I didn't have the peace of mind that I anticipated and it was very difficult to pull out of port that evening knowing I had left him in the dark waters, but that is where he is happiest and it's only symbolic as far as I'm concerned. I miss him so much, but I did have a wonderful long weekend with my "female posse" and sitting up night after night into the early morning with Tracy (Bill's daughter) while we talked about him was WONDERFUL.

Now it's time to get ready for spring and what better way to do that than go to the Red's Opening Day parade and game. That's where I'll be on Monday with the boys. A neighbor has given us some tickets for great seats and they are thrilled to be getting out of school for the day...now I just have to find a way to let my boss know that I'm taking off...AGAIN!

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It's so good to hear from you. Things really never go as expected does it? Sounds like it was a good trip though and the time with Bill's daughter and your female "posse" sounds priceless.

Enjoy the game! Good to have you back.

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Beth, so glad to hear that this difficult task is behind you. I know Bill is so proud of you and the way you are handling things. I still have to scatter Dennis' ashes and keep finding reasons to put off doing so. I know this was a hard step for you to take. Have fun on Monday!!!

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Beth, I am happy for you that is behind you. It seems like next to you and his children, Bill loved the sea, how loving of you to have him rest there.

I left a little of Earl in the yard near the bench where we sat and rested while we worked outside. I still have the rest. There are in the family room with me, behind the TV in the entertainment center. Like you, I think they are symbolic. So I guess them being here neither spooks me nor gives me peace. I do talk to them sometimes, but I also talk to my steering wheel.

You and I both know that our loves are in our hearts, souls and minds. And they will be there for eternity.

Beth I hope you are doing well. You are so young to be starting this journey. I wish you peace and happiness.

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Beth,

I'm sorry things did not work out as planned on your trip. I know how hard this trip must have been for you. I'm so glad you were able to spend some time with Bill's daughter. I'm sure Bill was smiling down on you two, and so proud of you both for being there for each other. Glad you were able to get some closure and strength from this trip.

Have fun at the game.

Denise

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Hi Beth,

Talk about ups and downs. But all in all it turned out to be a real nice trip. I could just hear you guys to the wee hours of the mornings talking about your Bill. That was PRICELESS!!

Have a great time at the game on Monday. I had no idea baseball season has started. I know Bill will be standing right behind you.

Enjoy!!

Maryanne :wink:

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Beth,

We have plans to scatter Mike's ashes in the mountains in the fall. He wanted to be scattered in our honeymoon spot in our favorite getaway. I anticipate that it will be filled with mixed emotions. I think you did wonderfully well and that you should feel comforted knowing Bill's final resting place is where he wanted to be. God Bless you.

Love,

Sue

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