NancyT Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 I struggle writing as things have been getting so much worse. My Dad's pain is increasing, working with Hospice but it's not working. I had my brothers up for a meeting saturday. My Dad will soon need 24hr care, he was coming to my house but now he does not want that. Last week I spent 3 days with him(I live 2 hr. away) and he cannot cope with his daughter being his main caregiver. I understand that. We have a Hospice House(Bruns House) nearby, its wonderful but only covered for 3 wks or so by medicare. If not, you private pay. I was going to move him today....but he changed his mind. One of my brothers did not want my Dad moved. The issue where he is ....its a one room........if we hire additional help they have to be on a cot and my Dad has no privacy....He has always been so independent. I want so much to do the right thing, listen to his wishes, but last night he told me he was afraid. I talked to the hospice nurse again this morning, told her he is losing ground. The days are long and painful.....they are using a combination of Kaden(ms contin), Roxinal drops and ativan. Anyone have any other meds or combinations that have helped? His pain is in the chest where the main tumor is and his back. Losing 1 lb/week dispite Boost Plus and anything else I can get him to eat(hardly at all). I am consumed by all this, hardly able to function with such worry. I am here on the site everyday and get strengh from everyone. I struggle posting such sad news NancyT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dihen Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Nancy, I am so sorry to hear the news about your dad and how hard things are right now for you! I don't have any specific advice but wanted to let you know that I will keep you and your dad in my prayers. The only thing I can suggest is that you "follow your heart" as far as what to do.... Hoping and praying you find a solution that works for all of you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antoinettev3 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Nancy I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for all of you. I'm also very sorry that your father's pain is not under control. Have they tried the Duragesic patch for him yet or the Actiq lollipops? Both contain the drug Fentanyl. The patch is a long acting form of the drug and the lollipops are quick acting for breakthrough pain. My pain was in my chest and radiated to my back as well. I found that the patch worked well but I could not tolerate the side effects but I am overly sensitive to narcotics. If your father is tolerating Kadian well he probably will have no trouble with the Fentanyl. Please know that you and your father are in my prayers. God Bless. Antoinette Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carleen Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Nancy I am so sorry things are getting so difficult with your father. I think it is the hardest thing in life, to see someone we love in pain, scared, hurt, and suffering. I wish beyond all wishes that there was something I could do to help. All I can offer is my prayers for peace, comfort, relief from pain, and that he feels the love that surrounds him. I also think you could look into getting your father a morphine pump. I don't know if they have them with other pain relievers, but I know that when my husband had the tumors in his pancrease acting up it was about the only thing that really took care of all the pain and he could regulate it depending on when he felt he needed it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Nancy, I am so sorry. Prayers for you all. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinC1973 Posted April 5, 2006 Share Posted April 5, 2006 Nancy, I am so sorry. Thinking of you and praying for strength in the coming times. The decision will come to you. My step dad was in a hospice for three days before he died. It was a very comforting experience, one I will never forget. I have started to type over and over again that I wish my mom would have been able to go to hospice, but I just don't know if I would have been able to do that. It's so hard--typing that someone isn't doing well, accepting doctor's words (ours were, "we're not very optimistic), making end-of-life decisions--for me it's all like having to accept defeat, which I am not good at at ALL. I hope that you can gain the strength in these difficult times. I so wish no one had to go through this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy RN Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 Nancy I am so sorry, I have been in your shoes. My mom died July 1994 of nsclc. She went into a coma on Sat morn and died the following Tues. For pain, I gave her injections of morphine. I have taken care of patients at home before they died. When they were in pain we used an IV pump with morphine. The patient just pushes a button when needed and the machine gave a set amount every hour. It worked well. Hospice can do this at home or in a Hospice unit. My prayers are with you. Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollyanne Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 Nancy - I PMed you as well -- get a morphine pump....it was a God send for my mom...they can control the pain with it easily and still use ativan or xanax for anxiety. thinking of you. love, Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 Oh Nancy, I pray they get his pain under control and could make him comfortble. No one should have to endure pain during their final days. I pray they find something that will work for him. Poor guy. I know how worried you must be as this is your dad, a person who was the rock of the family, to see him like this is so heart breaking. Sending mega prayers out to him. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadstimeon Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 Very sorry to hear that Nancy--Prayers. Rich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patty Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 So sorry Nancy. Know that there are many thoughts and prayers going out for you, your Dad, and family. Really hope there is something that can be done immediately for his pain, (keep pushing for his comfort) and pray that you find something that will work out for all involved. Patty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 Getting a morphine pump set up seems like a good next step Nancy. After that, maybe your dad could stay where he is and have home hospice vistation. You, your dad and the rest of your family have my prayers. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pammie Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 A time of struggle for all. Will be keeping your dad and the whole family in our prayers. pammie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Nancy i'm sorry to hear about your Father's condition. According to the little booklet's Hospice gave me as a person get's closer to the end one of the first thing's they lose is there appetite and if i read it correctly they seemed to say that making some one eat is not the best thing to do . You might ask them for the little booklet's if they have not given them to you yet.And as for pain they gave my Wife Morphine...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randired Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 I am sorry to hear of your dads condition and I wanted to let you kow that you are in my thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.