Understanding Engineers

[Geri]

Understanding Engineers - Take One

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one

said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,

minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,

threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what

you want."

The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the

clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Understanding Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Three

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a

particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been

waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept

golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word

with him."

He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us?

They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire

fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire

last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I'll say a special prayer

for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist

colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Four

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil

engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers - Take Five

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Six

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough

features yet.

Understanding Engineers - Take Seven

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to

him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back

into a beautiful princess, I'll stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and

returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a

Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back

into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What's the matter? I've told you I'm a

beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do

anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a

girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

[ginnyde]

Geri, I am cutting and pasting this to my son the mechanical engineer. Funny.

[Kasey]

Love it, Geri!!!

Kasey

[Don Wood]

Very good, I have a son who is an aerospace engineer retreaded to software engineer. Had a good laugh. Don