Ann Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 This information is valuable and will save women a lot of stress. Please re-read often.... Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. AAA is not an option. I will win. Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't, know where to start." We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion. Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you a cold is no problem. Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same things. Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together. Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator) ...applies mainly to engineers. Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, or sports. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask. Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too. Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you are feeling amorous afterwards... then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others. Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go? (And, no, that dress doesn't make you look fat. Nothing makes you look fat so quit asking. Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest... like wandering around in the garden with a beer thinking about sex, cars, or sports. This has been a public service message for Women to better understand Men Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linda661 Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 so true. And don't whine about clutter and call me a pack rat. Because I'm a man, I often save all kinds of things that we don't need anymore, but we MIGHT need them, sometime ....... like the rotissarie from our old grill that doesn't work on our current grill (no matter how much I tried to make it work), but might work on some future grill we get; or the outdoor speaker from 2 homes ago which might work some time....(oh, forget that technology has changed to the point that this thing doesn't look like it has any hope -- I might be able to at least use it for spare parts sometime)...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 And your point is ----? It's a guy thing. Actually, some of those don't fit me at all, but there are always exceptions to the rule. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 these are so funny and so true! Don, you are a manly man, there is no doubt about that, but what makes you so manly and loveable to all of us is your strong feminine side! Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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