stand4hope Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 I didn't know whether to put this in Grieving or Sprituality/Inspiration/Prayer because it's both, so, moderators, it's certianly ok to move it if you think it belongs in grieving. I don't know if it's reality time for me, or what the heck is going on, but I've been having a very hard time, especially since the weather started getting nice. It was just such an active time around here in the spring. Don was non-stop from the first crack of daylight, if not earlier, until past dark from the beginning of spring to the end of fall. I just miss him so much I can hardly stand it. I ache, I hurt, I cry, and I can't believe this is forever. We were married so young, I always told everyone I was born married. After 38 years, I can't even remember life without him. He was my life, and this is forever, and I'm hurting. So..... it's me, oh Lord, standing in the need of prayer: It's me, it's me, it's me, oh Lord Standing in the need of prayer It's me, it's me, it's me, oh Lord Standing in the need of prayer I know I'll be ok, but I sure could use an extra boost from a few prayers to get me out of this slump. Thank you, and love to all! Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daggiesmom Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 I will remember you in my prayers. It's so, so difficult to go on, missing our loved ones. Many people here will be praying for you. Joanie ((())) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnmynatt Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Peggy, Praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Oh ((((Peggy)))), I cannot even imagine the feelings you are having right now. I do understand the 'things' of spring, however. The yard work, the sprucing up of the house, the outside manly things they do. And Don is not there. He would probably be getting that bike all shined up and ready to go as well. I am so sorry..........so, so sorry . For certain I will hold you close to my heart and in prayer as well. May you gain some comfort and support from all of us here, and may that help see you through this very rough patch you are going through. I know you are doing what you can......like keeping very busy. But spring just is challenging you a bit more, I think. Take care, Peggy. We continue to be here for you. Love, Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Peggy, I am so very sorry for your heartache. You certainly are in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollyanne Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Peggy - Thinking of you tonight. I think I understand the spring thing. I was doing better when it was snowy outside...now the weather is glorious where I am. Prayers for comfort for you. Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Dear Peggy, For me it is so easy to be by myself. It has been by choice. When your choice is taken away and you are forced into circumstances that you would not choose, it is very tragic and goes against the plan. Yes. The bike would be started in the garage a couple times in Feb or March already. Call your brother and see how the bike is doing. I will say some prayers and ask God for some special blessings for your aching heart and the hearts of other members. It is too much sometimes. Love you Peggy. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Dear, dear Peggy, of course I will keep you in my thoughts. I know, I know. I am a year ahead of you and as we have talked it does get easier, not necessarily easy. I was driving down to my son's beach house on Saturday and had to drive past a business that was a very large customer of Earl and my business. So, being the strong grown up lady I think I am, I cried for the next 40 miles. You know Peggy, this deep sadness will pass. This damn grieving thing is very cyclical. Remember, keep busy, keep busy, keep busy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Dear Peggy, I do understand, Thou, O Lord, art the Helper of the helpless, the Hope of the hopeless, the Savior of them who are tossed with tempests, the Haven of them who sail. Lord, be Thou within me to strengthen me; Without me, to keep me; Above me, to protect me; Beneath me, to uphold me; Before me, to direct me; Behind me, to keep me from straying; Round about me, to defend me. Peggy, all I can say is that it does get easier and harder with time. Easier to face each day Harder to live each day in this new alone state. Last week I had such good news to tell Mike and he was not here, still crying now because, never again will I see his eyes and face reflect all his love for me. But, I know where he is, with no pain and trying and sending me those good news, looking after me and protecting me. The tears after a while are still there but they wash away a bit of the sorrow and the pain we have. Love to you, Peggy Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 I just said a prayer that you will call your brother and take a ride in Don's honor. More prayers comin hon.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 (((Peggy))), Yes, I do understand. Easter was a very very hard day for me. It was my first without Mike. It seems to me that these feelings and meltdowns are just bottled up inside somewhere waiting to happen. I pray you will soon feel better Peggy. Love and Prayers , Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 My first too w/o Deb Thought Valentines Day was hard and anniversary. They were easy. All the firsts are hard and so are the seconds and thirds and so on. People die Love Doesn't. I know how you feel but kind of reverse. I took care of the Lawn and Deb had Flower gardens and veggies. Those I could not grow, but grass was easy. Spring represents a new start to the yearly cycle of seasons I think. I know how much it hurts. Now I am working for her to keep things more beautiful. That is my personal goal. There will always be BAD and GOOD TIMES. Ever feel like curling up in bed and screaming at the world in the morning. That was last week. Will send you a CyberHug for strenght and encouragement. Will say a prayer for a little peace in this tumultuous time of year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe B Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Peggy -- Keeping you in prayer I pray God provide you peace and comfort.......JB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Prayers for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarHart Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Peggy, I know how hard it is. I cleaned up the garage this weekend, which was really Ken's area. Looking at all his tools and knowing that he will never use them again was so painful. I met him when I was 20 years old, almost 34 years ago. It really is hard to figure out how you are supposed to continue on with your life when someone who was the biggest part of it is gone. I've just resigned myself to hurting and praying that someday it won't be so bad. I will pray for you and all the other wives and husbands who are having to deal with living in this void. So terribly sorry for all of us. Karen H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy P Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 (((((Peggy)))))) Prayers coming for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Peggy, I wish I could just take all of your pain away. Losing a spouse is so very hard. When we have a partner, we count on them for so many things and we know they are there for us to lean on. We share joy and sorrow with them. Having Don by your side for so many times was almost as if he was an "extension" of you. There is nothing to describe this deep feeling of emptiness. Honey, I will continue to say prayers for you. Your name has never left my prayer list and it will remain there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 hugs, Peggy. just...hugs. and prayers, too. xoxo bunny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Peggy I am so sorry for what you are going through. I can't even begin to imagine how hard this is for you. I hope the sadness leads you to the memories of the good times. Rochelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopeandstrength Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 Hugs to you, Peggy. I know that my mom is feeling the same way, as she recently lost her "best buddy" as she called him. I wish I could say something to make both of you feel better... love, Cathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilliBr1 Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 Saying prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patty Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 (((Peggy))) Sending you lots of special thoughts and prayers, Patty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted April 20, 2006 Author Share Posted April 20, 2006 Thank you so much everyone. I feeling better. I actually had to go to a visitation last night at the same funeral home, same room and same setup where Don was. I so much didn't want to go, but the family was there for me when Don died, so I put on a smile, and some lipstick , took a deep breath, and walked in. Anyway, it was very hard and I didn't get through it without tears, but I did get through it. It felt selfish to shed those tears in there because they weren't tears for the elderly gentleman in the coffin - they were tears for my own grief. Right after, I drove down the road to the cemetery. Don's monument looked so pretty with the red, white and blue flowers on top of it and beside it, and it just was so very peaceful, and I just felt a little better. I then came home and went to "chat" here at LCSC, and that helped a lot, too. So, I am better, God heard your prayers and I think I'm back in the groove of life. That was the longest "spell" so far; it lasted for well over a week. I hope I don't have very many spells like that. When it takes over, you feel like you're in some kind of a dark pit and there doesn't seem to be a single reason to want to come out of that pit. You don't want to be there, but you don't want to leave, either. I guess I just gave the description of depression with that, huh? Anyway, thank you, and I love you all! Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmydog2 Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 You certinaly have my prayers Peggy. Hope you come out of this slump soon (and I know you will). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adela Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 Peggy I am so sorry for what you have been through lately. My thoughts are with you. Adela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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