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too much all at once

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My Dad is a good guy with alot of bad things happening to him past and present. Although I don't beleive this cancer is any punishment of any sort, I do think his dues have been paid. He's 18 year sobber and still an avid member of AA, a Manic Depressive for over 20 years with numerous phsyciatric stays, and a massive heart attack/triple bypass 2 years ago in Aug/06. He's from a era where pride and dignety are everything when you have nothing else. Something that has been tested and put in his back pocket over and over again before. He's no stranger to "bucking up" and doing what is needed to be done!

He wasn't surprised by the emphazemia or the lung cancer diagnosis in late Feb/06, he smoked for 50 years. But he has been surprised at how this is effecting him so much and so soon and only came to surface in the fall of '05 and now be 3.8 cm.

He's sleeping more and gets tired from the most average task .... but is determined to keep his schedule. A simple schedule of attending an AA meeting weekly, playing ucker once a week, and getting lunch at the seniors center. Was once not enough to occupy him, is now all he can do. Not because of energy, mind or spirit ... but waiting for all the phone calls. It's been a week since he was tattoed for radiation and 2 since he conscented for it. Even though the simple "shortness of breath" side effect can give him a heart attack, he's chosen to go for it. His response to alot of questions was "The way I see it is if I don't do it I'll die from this. I do the radiation I may still die from it ..... but it will be later rather than sooner!"

Because of the weak heart and the fact that the radiation site is directly infront of his heart (lymphnoids included), the heart attack seems more likely. I am glad he has decided to take whatever the radiation can give him and "keep his daily schedule as usual." For that I'm hopeful he can enjoy his choice he made and lead his life on his terms and his way. But I'm not as sure he'll get what he wants this time ... he's defied the odds before. He should've been dead twice now from his heart attack and the level of phnemonia he had when he didn't take of his cold. See he still does that manly thing .... It'll pass! I know he's happy with what he's done to this point, and he's been alone with Mom gone 13 years now! It just seems this is so cruel given what he's endured already!

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Welcome to you, although I am so sorry you have to be here.

Your dad really has been through a lot, hasn't he? He is a SURVIVOR. We have SO MANY people on here who have defied the odds repeatedly. They are all SURVIVORS. Your dad sounds like a great guy, very strong and resillient. I wish I could tell you he's going to be just fine, but with his determination he will have a great chance at beating the odds. I know it's hard to see someone who is so strong falter just even a little. My mom was the same way. She contracted polio at age 12, and suffered the effects of post-polio syndrome after that, winding up in a wheelchair eventually. She survived two abusive marriages to wind up with my stepdad of eight years, only to lose him to lung cancer in 1999. Seven weeks after his death she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She beat it, sailing through radiation and surgery with flying colors. The day of her surgery she quit smoking. Three years later she wound up in renal failure and had to have emergency dialysis, and went three times a week to dialysis from then on. All was well, her blood pressure was finally under control, she was feeling good, and nine months later, came the lung cancer diagnosis. When my mom got the news of the renal failure, I really didn't think she could take anymore. I was surprised when she chose dialysis. When she got the lung cancer diagnosis, I was surprised she wanted to take chemo. She had fifteen great months, rarely got sick from chemo, and kept a great attitude most of the time. She lived with us so we saw it all. My mom...another SURVIVOR. I can hear the pride in your post when you talk about your dad, I have the same pride for my mom.

Please, keep us updated on your dad's progress. I will be keeping you both in my prayers. Much love and luck to you.

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Welcome here. I am a newbie myself and thought I would welcome you. This is a great place to get information, have others to lean on, and learn.

Don't ever lose hope as there is so much that can happen...we never knew God's plan before we are dx with bad "stuff" nor do we know after.

Best of luck and God bless!

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Hi again, TamHol.

The way you describe your Dad is just amazing. I can see that he has been through so much and has earned every sober moment that he has accumulated. It also appears to me that his sobriety and his AA etc., is what keeps him sane.

He has had so many tools to use through his program. It is obvious to me that he is using them. He has accepted his illness, has accepted a treatment plan, and has "surrendered" to his Higher Power's Will for him. Check with him and see if I am not right.

When my Dad became ill and died quite suddenly, it tore my heart out. Yet, at the same time, I was comforted by his words that we had in the past about what life and death meant to him. He wasn't afraid of dying. (He said everybody does it).

When my Mom died suddenly, she was scared to death. I grieved more about her death than Dad's. She resisted. He accepted.

Acceptance is a very very difficult activity to practice. Your Dad has had much practice at Acceptance of what EVER is thrown his way.

I applaud his ways.

Hang in there.

We are here for you.

Cindi o'h

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