TamHol Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 My Dad is a good guy with alot of bad things happening to him past and present. Although I don't beleive this cancer is any punishment of any sort, I do think his dues have been paid. He's 18 year sobber and still an avid member of AA, a Manic Depressive for over 20 years with numerous phsyciatric stays, and a massive heart attack/triple bypass 2 years ago in Aug/06. He's from a era where pride and dignety are everything when you have nothing else. Something that has been tested and put in his back pocket over and over again before. He's no stranger to "bucking up" and doing what is needed to be done! He wasn't surprised by the emphazemia or the lung cancer diagnosis in late Feb/06, he smoked for 50 years. But he has been surprised at how this is effecting him so much and so soon and only came to surface in the fall of '05 and now be 3.8 cm. He's sleeping more and gets tired from the most average task .... but is determined to keep his schedule. A simple schedule of attending an AA meeting weekly, playing ucker once a week, and getting lunch at the seniors center. Was once not enough to occupy him, is now all he can do. Not because of energy, mind or spirit ... but waiting for all the phone calls. It's been a week since he was tattoed for radiation and 2 since he conscented for it. Even though the simple "shortness of breath" side effect can give him a heart attack, he's chosen to go for it. His response to alot of questions was "The way I see it is if I don't do it I'll die from this. I do the radiation I may still die from it ..... but it will be later rather than sooner!" Because of the weak heart and the fact that the radiation site is directly infront of his heart (lymphnoids included), the heart attack seems more likely. I am glad he has decided to take whatever the radiation can give him and "keep his daily schedule as usual." For that I'm hopeful he can enjoy his choice he made and lead his life on his terms and his way. But I'm not as sure he'll get what he wants this time ... he's defied the odds before. He should've been dead twice now from his heart attack and the level of phnemonia he had when he didn't take of his cold. See he still does that manly thing .... It'll pass! I know he's happy with what he's done to this point, and he's been alone with Mom gone 13 years now! It just seems this is so cruel given what he's endured already! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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