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What to do next?


gail

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I told my 17 year old there would be no smoking in the house. The reasons are obvious.

Several times this past month I have questioned him after smelling smoke. His friends were over and I told them all that I smoked from age 18-28, and 17 years after that had lung cancer, so there would be no smoking in my house. I later reminded my son that I had asthma and could not have the smoke around.

His father caught them in his room, and it was obvious there had been smoking going on. Besides the obvious (breaking a rule), how far do I go with the lung cancer thing? I can do guilt real well. We have several hours before he returns from work.

gail

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Gail,

Lung cancer, shmung cancer. That is not the issue. He lives in your house and therefore lives by your rules. No smoking in the house is NOT unreasonable no matter what, if any, health problems.

Withhold privileges, money whatever. You know what works (or doesn't work with him).

Good luck.

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The other day at work ( In a hospital) a family member was talking as I and another nurse helped with her mother. She is telling us that teens have 5 vices that they want to try- 000, sex, drinking, smoking and drugs. She pondered a moment and said she would want her teenager to pick smoking-- one cigarette won't kill you and they are easy to quit. Immediately I piped up!!! No! cigarettes are more addicting than cocaine, and she replide - that drugs could kill you the first time- I said I would pick 000 she said O NO THAT WOULD BE TERRIBLE . After I left the room the other nurse and I just shook our heads. :roll: Any body have any opinion?

PS YOUR HOUSE YOUR RULES. Know that you are sending a message with that rule.

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Thanks girls. I had spent a very long hot day setting up my classroom, got home, and got hit with the news of an openly defiant teenager. :evil:

We just finished talking with him. He was absolutely sorry and not sure why he allowed it to happen. He is grounded and I took the cell phone (that I pay for).

I ended the conversation by telling him the pulminologist did confirm asthma this week, and being down a lobe does not allow any room for irritants in my house.

He will have a lot of time to get his summer reading done. :wink:

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Gail,

Everything everyone else said AND do the guilt thing.....

You have a postive medical history of Bronchioloalveolar Carcinoma of the Lung. Smoke exposure of any kind, be it fireplace, bar-b-que grill, wildfire, DTBs (Defiant Teenage Boys) with cigarettes. Makes no difference. It's not good for your lungs....period. Or theirs.

Sorry you're having to deal with this...

Fay A.

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Besides the obvious ignorance of house rules, isn't this 17 y/o breaking the law? Last I knew, you had to be 18 to legally get addicted to smoking...

Stick to your guns, Mom. Teenagers are a self-centered bunch, your health has nothing to do with the actions being displayed. You would think they could learn by observing, but it seems that they need to learn by experience....pretty sad. I don't know of any way to get around that one, when you started smoking, would someone with lung cancer, asthma or emphysema been able to talk you out of smoking, or would your thought have been "It won't happen to me"?

I guess the human brain is set to go from the major learning of babies, toddlers and kids to a "rest period" during the teenage years where reason just goes out the window. I don't think it picks back up until at least 25 in the average teen. (I realize there are some kids that "grow up fast" and are very responsible, etc.) Wonder if there are any studies on the brain waves (or lack thereof) on the typical teen....Title of the study? "Teenager: The Age Without Reason"

Good luck in breaking through the defiance and attitude. Taking the cell phone and his "link" to the outside world is a great start! He WILL come back around, just be consistent...and if he doesn't, send him to a monastery! :lol:

Hang in there and good luck!

Becky

aka Snowflake

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Thanks again guys--on a scale of 1 to 10 it is not a big crisis in life but . . .

This kid was 7 1/2 when I had my first breast cancer. It was June, I was having radiation, and Mommy couldn't go in the water with him. (And he's an only child--but that is another story) And some days he had to come to radiation with me and sit in the waiting room.

He had just started Middle School in 1997 when I had my second breast cancer. That included chemo (hair loss) and an 11 day ICU stay for undiagnosed internal bleeding. His 12th birthday was at my hospital bed where Mom was hooked up to blood transfusions.

It was spring of his 9th grade year when the lung cancer was diagnosed.

He has been through a lot. And he is basically a good kid. Just made a bad error in judgement. He is quite willing to serve his time.

Thanks again

gail

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