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Surrogate Father


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Surrogate Father

The Smiths were unable to concieve children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said."I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning madam, I've come to________"

"Oh no need to explain, I've been expecting you." Mrs Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked, "Well I've made a specialty out of babies."

"That's what my husband and I hoped. Please come in and have a seat." After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everthing to me, I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too__you can really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well madam, none of us can guarantee a good one evrey time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, my that's a lot of__" gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure"

"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "this was done on the top of a bus"

"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith explained, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith

"Yes I'm afraid so, I finally had to take her to the park to get the

job done right, People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

'Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said, "and for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling, I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward, "You mean they actually chewed on your um__equipment?"

That's right. Well madam if you're ready I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."


"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Cannon on, it's much too big for me to hold very long, Madam? Madam?__________ good Lord, she's fainted!!!"

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