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Feel so weak and ashamed of it...

Guest greenlass

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Guest greenlass

Hello to everyone here. I am going with my boyfriend today to find out what stage of lung cancer he has - he was just diagnosed last wednesday. I read everyone's post with great interest - I am so ashamed of feeling so weak in the face of this. I know I must be strong, but I have struggles with depression, and I'm just so scared that I will not be able to rise to the occasion.

I wake up sick to my stomach with fear. I feel so completely inadequate. He is my best friend - I don't have much in the way of support or other friends. I pray the serenity prayer over and over...

Thank you for listening.

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Never wonder if you CAN handle it, if we all were to analyze it, we'd never attempt it. It's not something we CAN do, it's something we DO. Get in touch with your feelings, and then take a step...and then another...and another...it's one step at a time, one day at a time, one breath at a time.

Hang on, get all the news and formulate a plan and THEN work through the fear. I'm not telling you to not be scared, I can't tell you I'm not. There are days it's in the farthest corner of my mind and other days I'm terrified. Just realize when it's getting you down and fight it back... Breathe...

Welcome. I'm sorry you had to find us.


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Hello and welcome...

I am so sorry about your boyfriend but glad you have found this site. You will find so many people here who can help answer your many questions and offer you so much support. Just let us know what we can do and keep us posted on your boyfriends condition.

You are in my thoughts and prayers,


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I posted a response in another of your posts so I won't repeat it. Cllick on profile and find all posts. It will come up. I am glad you found us. You just got about 3000 new friends That is how many members we have total. Active is less but anyway. ask and Yeshall recieve. Keep us posted on Diagnosisi and treatment and we will help with whatever info you need.

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You said, "I've read everyone's post". Humm, then if in fact you did read everyone's posts, then you read how all of us had fear and sadness within us during our journey's.

Your fear is SO REAL and SO UNDERSTANDABLE! I can feel your heart acheing. :( We are here to lend you the helping hand you will need during this journey.

And I might add, if you read our stories, then you know we DO and CAN SURVIVIE Lung Cancer. :D:D:wink: So, lets not get in the doom and gloom mode just yet, okay???? Baby steps are what your going to learn how to take for now.

Just keep in mind your never alone and we'll be here for you when you need someone to reach out and touch you.

Stay strong, we'll help you. It's not an easy job, but as we say here at LCSC, it's DOABLE!

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Welcome! Sorry about your boyfriend. This time in the journey is one of the most difficult. You don't know what to expect, what to do, what to feel, how to help, etc. It's just a very scary and helpless feeling in the beginning. Once there is more information and treatment is underway, you will feel better and come to a "new normal" in your life. You will get through it one day, one hour, one minute at a time. YOU CAN DO IT!! Take care. You and your boyfriend are in my thoughts/prayers.

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Welcome - as the others have said sorry for having to be here.. The statemnet of taking baby steps - one day at a time is so true - if you read most of the posts you'll find how many of us are so scared - how many are so unsure of where we're going and how we're getting there,

But believe we are ALL HERE FOR THE SAME REASONS - TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER. We do that through prayer - encouraging words - and just plain "being there "

If you need anything -just let us know -someone will have the answer or a way of finding it.

These are the most wonderful people in the world. Use them - gool luck with the boyfriends test results

. In my prayers


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Some things that helped my hubby through it:

Prayer--serenity prayer is awesome

Faith---"If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea' and it will obey you." Luke 17:6

Wisdom--Learn every thing you can about the disease

Support -- lchelp is a great start, talk to other family memebers affected, caregivers

LIVE ONE DAY AT A TIME---Remember, "Yesterday was the past, tomorrow is the the future and today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

Networking--get the whole family involved in the support and healing. (including friends, church,acquaintenances that want to help).

Surround yourself and your boyfriend with positive emotions---mediatation, calming music, reading the Bible.

Remember that life is not over with a diagnosis, a new life is just beginning.

Hope this helps.

Good Luck and God BLess!!

My prayers are with you!!


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It's ok to feel scared and feel weak, but you have to get through this somehow, and the others are right, just doing it will be a show of strength.

I woke up sick to my stomach with fear on a daily basis for a long time. I still do on some days, but I'm happy to say, some days I don't even think about it any more.

I think if you weren't feeling sick and scared, there would be something wrong. This is a tough road, but support for your boyfriend is very, very important right now. You don't have to have all the answers, but being there for all the twists and turns will be everything to him.

The first few weeks and months of this are incredibly hard. I think everyone would admit that.

Good luck to you,


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Hi G.L.

Glad you found us.

Stick with us, we will be here to help usher you through. Whatever comes down the pike for you and your bf, we will be here to help as much as we can.

I know you don't think that you can get through this, but somehow you will. I promise you this.

Cindi o'h

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Hi -

Of course you scared- everything as you have known it has been turned upside down. It is o.k. to be scared...yet I promise that once you get a plan you feel a bit more in control. Remember that being scared means you are thinking about the future -- you can't control that today. Try and live for today -- take each challenge and success as it comes. Thinking too far ahead can be completely overwhelming.

You WILL make it through whatever is thrown your way. I didn't think I would and everyone kept telling me that I was so much stronger than I thought -- guess what they were right!

Prayers that you and your boyfriend will have the peace to handle whatever is thrown at you.



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Greenlass, you will rise to the occasion and you'll put one foot in front of the other and you'll find strength within that you may never knew you had. This is the scariest time, the shock and fear are all consuming but as others have said, once a plan of treatment is in place this in itself seems to open the door to hope and once you get a glimmer of it, hold on tight because hope will keep you sane and allow you to function and live and do what needs to be done as part of the *new normal*.

Very shortly after I joined this most wonderful of forums, someone wrote that denial of this disease can be very healthy. Not denial in the sense that you reject reality but that in spite of it you continue to look forward and live your lives and plan for the future just as anyone of us do. Focus on the positive, take joy in the good days and times and remember that there is nobody on this earth that can predict how long anyone of us will be here, so reject doom and gloom predictions if you hear them and carry on. Onward and upward.

Welcome and many prayers for your comfort and peace.


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First, welcome to this wonderful support group -- sorry you had to find us, but so glad you did.

Don't be ashamed by what you read. Think we all started out looking so "strong?" No way. Nothing to be ashamed of there, so toss that one out the window right now.

"Looking so strong": we just do what we have to, one day at a time. We cry and we get frustrated & scared during the bad times, and we celebrate and jump for joy during the good times.....strength is nothing more than a celebration of the life we have, every moment we have it and rising to whatever we must the next day. In this group, we have each other to turn to for the sharing of the good and the bad....helps bunches and is very comforting, I've found; as well as very informative to helping our loved ones get through this when sometimes they can't help themselves through it.

Heck, I still dry heave on some mornings dealing with this (5 months since my mom's dx); ready to slam the door on this whole thing other days....what counts is caring and doing whatever we can to move forward in spite of this condition.

Keep us informed of what's up and we will help you and your boyfriend "be strong" through this journey too.

One more note on support (hope this helps): I have no support through this other than this group. I have no siblings, my father passed just over a year ago, and I have no husband/children of my own to help either; no mom-friends to help, nothing (real long story of what I am up against here in the middle of this: not easy is enough to say). I am my mom's only advocacy hope through this (and hers is a difficult case). It is doable, one day at a time, I swear it is.



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Greenlass, welcome to a wonderful community of listeners, advice givers, and information gatherer. Being a care giver is a HUGE task...it is a tightrope of push and pull...leave alone, prayers, and the list goes on and on. Continue praying to God for strength, and He will bless you...as you know.

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